The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer to the Max (1999)

Dan Castellaneta: Max Power, Archie Bunker, Criminal #2, Lance Kaufman, Barney Gumble, Groundskeeper Willie, Krusty the Clown, Producer #4, Grampa Simpson

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : Networks like animation because they don't have to pay the actors squat!

  Ned Flanders : [speaking with a different voice]  Plus, they can replace them and no one can tell the diddly-ifference!

• Max Power : Kids: there's three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!

  Bart Simpson : Isn't that the wrong way?

  Max Power : Yeah, but faster!

• Trent Steele : [Homer has just introduced himself as "Max Power"]  Hey, great name!

  Max Power : Thanks. I got it off a hair dryer.

• Homer Simpson : Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the court house, I had them change your name.

  Marge Simpson : To what?

  Homer Simpson : Chesty La Rue.

  Marge Simpson : Chesty La Rue?

  Homer Simpson : Just try it for two weeks. If you don't like it, you can be Busty St. Claire.

  Marge Simpson : I don't want to be Chesty La Rue or Busty St. Claire.

  Homer Simpson : Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.

  Marge Simpson : Good night, Homer.

  Homer Simpson : Good night, Hooty.

  Marge Simpson : Let go of those.

• Trent Steele : Oh, hey... My 1:00 canceled. Have you had any lunch?

  Max Power : Yeah, but I usually have three or four.

  Trent Steele : So where to eat? You like Thai?

  Max Power : Tie good. You like shirt?

• Marge Simpson : [Homer has legally changed his name to "Max Power"]  But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.

  Max Power : Nobody *snuggles* with Max Power, Marge. You strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

• Max Power : [singing, loosely, to the tune of Shirly Bassey's "Goldfinger"]  Max Power. He's the man with name you want to touch, but you mustn't touch! He's name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear, 'cause his name can be said by anyone.

• Homer Simpson : [Homer is buying a shirt]  ... And I want the monogram to read "M-a-x P-o-w..."

  Store Clerk : Sir, traditionally, mongrams are just your initials.

  Homer Simpson : Max Power doesn't abbrieviate! In his name, each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe even *more* important... No, *as* important.

  Store Clerk : Fine.

  [She walks away with the shirt to apply the monogram] 

  Homer Simpson : And if there's any room left, add a bunch of exclamation points and a pirate flag!

• Homer Simpson : [to Producers of "Police Cops"]  I'm begging you! I'm a human being! Let me have my dignity back!

  [the Producers nod at Homer; he gets up and walks face-first into a cactus] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  "Detective Homer Simpson" : [Next week on "Police Cops", the Homer Simpson character's coat is caught on top of a flagpole]  Let me down, Chief, I'm beggin' you! I'm a human being, let me have my dignity back!

  [the flagpole breaks, and Homer Simpson falls, crotch-first, onto a cactus below] 

  "Detective Homer Simpson" : B'oh!

• Marge Simpson : Look at this place. The house number is spelled out with letters.

  Max Power : Get used to it, honey. From now on we'll be spelling everything with letters.

• Max Power : Marge! President Clinton.

  Marge Simpson : Oh, my Lord! I feel like Cinderella.

  Max Power : Me too. Let's sing the Cinderella song.

• [Homer has changed his to Max Power] 

  Max Power : Kids. From now on there are three ways of doing things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.

  Bart Simpson : Isn't that just the wrong way?

  Max Power : Yes, but faster.

  [Homer walks into a cactus] 

• [at Trent Steele's party] 

  Party Guest 1: : I thought I knew all the players in Springfield. Where have you been hiding yourself?

  Max Power : Well, I spend a lot of time on the couch.

  Party Guest 2: : Haven't we all?