The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer the Vigilante (1994)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson, Crowd Members

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : Dad! There was a burglar, and he took my saxophone!

  Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo!

  Bart Simpson : And our portable TV!

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  Marge Simpson : He also took my pearl necklace.

  Homer Simpson : Eh, that's no big loss.

  Marge Simpson : Homer, that neckless was a priceless Bouvier family heirloom!

  Homer Simpson : You've probably got a whole drawer full of those things.

  Marge Simpson : [Opens a drawer, pulls out a ball made of identical necklaces, removes one from the ball and puts it on]  Well, yes I do. But they're all heirlooms too.

• Lisa Simpson : [after their house is robbed]  We are insured, aren't we, Mom?

  Marge Simpson : Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.

  Homer : Mm...

  [shaking his fist at a jar] 

  Homer : Curse you, magic beans!

  Marge Simpson : Oh, stop blaming the beans.

• Bart Simpson : The burglar even took my stamp collection.

  Lisa Simpson : *You* had a stamp collection?

  [as the family laughs, Bart picks up the ringing phone receiver] 

  Nelson Muntz : Stamp collection? Ha-ha!

  Lisa Simpson : Ohh. Bart's pain is funny, but mine isn't. That saxophone was my one creative outlet. It was the only way I could truly express myself.

  Homer : Shh! Quiet, Lisa.

• Marge Simpson : Homer, wasn't the whole point to catch the Cat Burglar?

  Lisa Simpson : And I still don't have my saxophone.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back. But we've also expanded into other important areas. Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination...

  Lisa Simpson : World domination?

  Homer Simpson : Oh ho, heh, that might be a typo.

  [thinks] 

  Homer Simpson : Mental note: the girl knows too much.