The Simpsons (TV Series)
Homer the Vigilante (1994)
Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier
Quotes
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Lisa Simpson : Dad! There was a burglar, and he took my saxophone!
Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo!
Bart Simpson : And our portable TV!
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
Marge Simpson : He also took my pearl necklace.
Homer Simpson : Eh, that's no big loss.
Marge Simpson : Homer, that neckless was a priceless Bouvier family heirloom!
Homer Simpson : You've probably got a whole drawer full of those things.
Marge Simpson : [Opens a drawer, pulls out a ball made of identical necklaces, removes one from the ball and puts it on] Well, yes I do. But they're all heirlooms too.
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Homer Simpson : All right: these are our new family security rules. Be home before dark, and make sure you're not followed. Lock all doors and windows.
Marge Simpson : And don't take candy from strangers.
Homer Simpson : Marge, they're only human!
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Lisa Simpson : [after their house is robbed] We are insured, aren't we, Mom?
Marge Simpson : Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.
Homer : Mm...
[shaking his fist at a jar]
Homer : Curse you, magic beans!
Marge Simpson : Oh, stop blaming the beans.
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Marge Simpson : I don't think the guns are a good idea.
Homer : Marge! We're responsible adults.
Moe Szyslak : [gunshot] Whoops.
Homer : And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way...
Captain McCallister : [gunshot] Sorry.
Principal Skinner : [gunshot] Uh-oh.
Moe Szyslak : [gunshot] Me again.
Bart Simpson : [gunshot] Sorry.
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Marge Simpson : Homer, wasn't the whole point to catch the Cat Burglar?
Lisa Simpson : And I still don't have my saxophone.
Homer Simpson : Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back. But we've also expanded into other important areas. Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination...
Lisa Simpson : World domination?
Homer Simpson : Oh ho, heh, that might be a typo.
[thinks]
Homer Simpson : Mental note: the girl knows too much.