The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Defined (1991)

Harry Shearer: Otto, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Lenny, Kent Brockman, Jasper, Principal Skinner, Medic, Scratchy

Quotes 

• Mr. Burns : Oh, Smithers, I guess there's nothing left to do but kiss my sorry ass good-bye.

  Smithers : May I, sir?

• Kent Brockman : Eeny meeny miney mo. Is Homer Simpson a hero? The answer is... no!

• Smithers : Sir, they may never be another time to say... I love you, sir.

  Mr. Burns : Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on earth socially awkward.

• Mr. Burns : Yes, we've isolated the problem. Wouldn't you know, false alarm. It seems that some...

  Marge Simpson : Whew.

  Mr. Burns : ...single wayward crow flew into our warning system.

  Kent Brockman : Very good. Well, sir, your point about nuclear hysteria is well taken. This reporter promises to be more trusting and less vigilant in the future.

  Mr. Burns : Excellent.

• Computer Voice : Warning, problem in Sector 7-G.

  Mr. Burns : 7-G? Good God, who's the safety inspector there?

  Smithers : Uh, Homer Simpson, sir.

  Mr. Burns : Simpson, eh? Good man, intelligent?

  Smithers : Actually, sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap.

  Mr. Burns : [bitterly]  Thank you, President Ford.

• Kent Brockman : On the line with us now is plant owner C. Montgomery Burns. Mr. Burns...

  Mr. Burns : Oh, hello, Kent. Right now skilled nuclear energy technicians are clamly correcting a minor piffling malfunction.

  [cut to people running around screaming and others breaking into a vending machine] 

  Mr. Burns : But I can assure you and the public there's absolutely no danger whatsoever. Things couldn't be more ship-shape.

  [cut to Smithers putting a thick nuclear safety suit on Mr. Burns] 

  Smithers : Sir, where's my radiation suit?

  Mr. Burns : How the hell should I know?

  [covering up the "Smithers" name label on the suit] 

  Kent Brockman : Ah, Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.

  Mr. Burns : Oh, hoho, meltdown. It's one of those annoying buzz words. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.

• Otto : By, little dudes! Don't learn anything I wouldn't learn!