The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Badman (1994)

Harry Shearer: Candy Con Announcer, Gummi Venus de Milo Spokesman, Man Rocking Homer, Waylon Smithers, Godfrey Jones, Rock Bottom Disclaimer, News Reporter, Ben Announcer, Kent Brockman, Reporter #1, David Letterman

Quotes 

• Kent Brockman : [Voicing over a frontal shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast]  Of course, there's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So let's turn it on!

  [Shot suddenly changes to an xray-like image of the house, with two distinct orange heat sources. One is the entire Simpson family, including Homer, sitting on the couch, the other is a turkey-shaped silhouette rotating in the oven] 

  Kent Brockman : Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.

  [Camera zooms in for a clear shot of the turkey] 

  Kent Brockman : His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

• Kent Brockman : [Voicing-over an aerial shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast]  This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o'clock for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

• Homer : [being hassled by protesters]  You people can't stop me from living my life.

  [the protesters follow Homer all the way to work] 

  Woman Rocking Homer : We're not crazy about nuclear power either.

  Smithers : You people aren't allowed in here.

  [the protesters stop hassling Homer for a moment] 

  Homer : No, it's OK, they're with me.

  [Smithers leaves and the protesters resume hassling Homer] 

• Kent Brockman : [Rounding out a news story on Homer's sexual harassment scandal]  Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding. Unless proposition 304 passes, and we all pray it will.

• Announcer : And now we return to "Fox Night at the Movies": "Homer S.: Portrait of an Ass-Grabber", starring Dennis Franz.

  Homer Simpson : Ooh, "portrait"! Sounds classy. Doesn't it?

  [On screen, Franz as Homer laughs as he drives through a line of parking meters while "Ashley" screams. A cat is cleaning itself in the middle of the road] 

  "Ashley Grant" : No, Mr. Simpson! A cat is a living creature.

  Dennis Franz as Homer Simpson : I don't care!

  [Franz as Homer proceeds to run the cat over. He recklessly pulls the car next to a sidewalk] 

  Dennis Franz as Homer Simpson : [leering at "Ashley"]  Now, I'm gonna grab me some *sweet*.

  "Ashley Grant" : No, Mr. Simpson, that's sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud the whole country will hear!

  Dennis Franz as Homer Simpson : [chuckles darkly]  With a man in the White House? Not likely!

  [laughs maniacally] 

• [Godfrey Jones "confronts" the re-edited footage of Homer] 

  Godfrey Jones : So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?

  [Homer looks lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot] 

  Godfrey Jones : Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further.

  [paused shot of Homer grows larger] 

  Godfrey Jones : No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- NOOO!

  Announcer : [spoken rapidly]  Dramatization: may not have happened.

• [In bed that night, Homer sighs, glad to be finally rid of the angry mob] 

  Homer : They're ruining my whole life. Marge, please, this is where I need you the most: I'm counting on you do to something or say something to make it all better. OK... go!

  Marge : Homer...

  Homer : [anxious]  Uh huh?

  Marge : I already talked to the indignation coordinator out on the lawn today. I told her you were a decent man, but she wouldn't listen. Besides standing by you and supporting you, there isn't any more I can do.

  Homer : You mean... I'm on my own? I've never been on my own! Oh no... on own... on own! I need help... oh, God, help me. HELP ME, GOD!

  [phone rings, Homer answers it very slowly] 

  Homer : [very slowly]  Yello?

  Godfrey Jones : Hello, Homer. This is God... frey Jones from the TV magazine show "Rock Bottom". We're aware of your problems, and, Mr. Simpson... we want to help.

  Homer : Mmm. I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed. I'll do it!