The Simpsons (TV Series)
Half-Decent Proposal (2002)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Butler, Baron von Kissalot, Grampa Simpson
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : Oh, no! If Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born.
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[the oil rig Homer's working on has caught on fire]
Homer : Oh no. This is how faceless Joe lost his legs.
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Artie Ziff : Tell me, Homer, what's it like being married to Marge?
Homer Simpson : It's like being married to your best friend - who lets you touch her boobies!
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Homer Simpson : This is the perfect job. I'll leave the world the same way I came into it - dirty, screaming and torn away from the woman I love.
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Marge Simpson : I haven't lost so much sleep since little Barty had the scoots.
Dr. Hibbert : Well, there's a surgical option, but it's not cheap.
[Writes something on a slip of paper, and slides it across his desk to Homer]
Dr. Hibbert : Here's what it costs.
Homer Simpson : [Reads paper] Interesting. Here's my counter-offer.
[Writes something on the paper and gives it back to Hibbert]
Dr. Hibbert : [Reads. The note says, "Do it for free"]
[Chuckles, then turns very serious]
Dr. Hibbert : Get out.
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Homer Simpson : Okay, Artie, you get her for the weekend - but no funny stuff. And by "funny stuff" I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo - which is pretty much any John Woo film...
Artie Ziff : Your wife's virtue shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.
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Cab Driver : That's nine hundred and twelve dollars.
Marge Simpson : Send the bill to Baron von Kiss-a-lot.
Cab Driver : No problem-o.
[He drives away]
Butler : [the scene cuts to a shot of a Bavarian castle, and then to an aristocratic drawing room. A butler approaches a man seated by a fireplace] This just arrived, Herr Baron.
[Hands him the taxi bill, which he reads]
Baron : [In German accent] Okay, who's the wise guy?
