The Simpsons (TV Series)

Flaming Moe's (1991)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Barfly #1, Krusty the Clown, Mayor Quimby, 'How's the world treating you, Mr. Gumble?'

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : [mumbling]  Stupid Moe - non-inventing, recipe-stealing, pug-nosed...

  Marge Simpson : Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.

  Homer Simpson : [sarcastic voice]  Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!

  [walks out, slams the door, then sticks his head back in] 

  Homer Simpson : Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic.

  Marge Simpson : Well, du'uh.

• Homer Simpson : If there was justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise.

• Marge Simpson : So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?

  Lionel Hutz : I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink.

  Homer Simpson : [whines]  Oh!

  Lionel Hutz : This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!

• Homer Simpson : [Homer sees Maggie wearing makeup and a dress]  That's it! I'm outta here.

• Mayor Quimby : Hence forth this day shall forever be known as: Flaming Moe's Day.

  Quimby's Aide : Ah, sir, this is already Veteran's Day.

  Mayor Quimby : It can be two things!

• [Playing "Truth or Dare" at Lisa's slumber party, one of the girls is dared to kiss Bart. She jumps him and does so] 

  Bart : [spluttering]  I'm telling Mom and Dad!

  Lisa Simpson : You're telling who?

  Bart : Mom and Dad!

  Girls : MOM AND DAD? JINX!

  Janey Powell : [singsong]  Now you can't talk, 'til somebody says your name!

  [the girls giggle. Bart runs into the living room, where Homer is watching TV. Bart points emphatically at himself] 

  Homer Simpson : What is it, boy? Is anything the matter, my son? Talk to me, young man.

  [In exasperation, Bart writes "SAY MY NAME" on a pad of paper and shows it to Homer] 

  Homer Simpson : Say your name? Why should I do that, my lad?

  Bart : [exploding]  Because I'm jinxed, damn it!

  [Homer punches him in the arm] 

  Bart : Ow! What was that for?

  Homer Simpson : You talked while you were jinxed, I get to punch you in the arm. It's not my fault, it's the rules.

• [as he enters the now popular Moe's Tavern, Homer accidentally bumps into Mrs. Krabappel's butt. He then looks at her and notices she has a heavy make-up and that she wears a bikini top] 

  Mrs. Krabappel : Hiya, scrumptious. Do you want to ignite my drink?

  Homer Simpson : You're my kid's teacher!

  Mrs. Krabappel : Single parent, are we?

  Homer Simpson : No!

  Mrs. Krabappel : [hugs his back with one hand and suggestively touches his belly and then his chin with the other one]  Well, let's pretend you are...

  Homer Simpson : Get away from me.

  [shoves her away and walks away from her] 

• Homer Simpson : Can I have a clean glass?

  Bartender : Guuugh!

  [briefly wipes glass] 

  Bartender : Here you go, your majesty!

• [Homer walks into The Aristocrat bar] 

  Bartender : [cocks shotgun]  Yeah what do you want!

  Homer Simpson : A beer?

  Bartender : Okay then...

• Barney Gumble : [after Homer, in a drunken rage at Moe, falls from the rafters onto the band]  Holy cow!... He fell on Aerosmith!