- Homer Simpson: Cure me! Cure me!
- Brother Faith: Brother, I sense you are feeling trapped and desperate.
- Homer Simpson: Yeeeah... and I gotta bucket on my head.
- Marge Simpson: Homer, maybe *I* should drive.
- Homer Simpson: What, I can see fine.
- [Homer drives into a cornfield, baseball field, then into a ditch]
- Homer Simpson: That had nothing to do with the bucket.
- Homer Simpson: You workin'?
- Benjamin: Oh my, yes. I'm on a secret project that I'm not at liberty to divulge...
- [coughs]
- Benjamin: cyborgs...
- Doug: I invented a program that downloads porn off the internet one million times faster.
- Marge Simpson: Does anybody need that much porno?
- Homer Simpson: Uuh-huuh-uuuh, one million times.
- Bart Simpson: Excuse me, Brother Faith. I gotta know, how did you *really* get the bucket off my dad's head?
- Brother Faith: Well, I didn't son, you did. God gave you the power.
- Bart Simpson: Really? Hmm, I would think he would want to limit my power.
- Dr. Hibbert: Son, I'm afraid that leg is hanging by a thread.
- Anton Lubchenko: Lubchenko must return to game!
- Dr. Hibbert: [chuckles] Your playing days are over, my friend. But, you can always fall back on your degree in...
- [reads chart]
- Dr. Hibbert: communications? Oh, dear Lord!
- Anton Lubchenko: I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!
- [cries]
- Homer Simpson: Okay, who needs another lamb rack?
- [Marge and Bart wave a 'no']
- Homer Simpson: Lisa?... Hamhawk? Tri-tip?
- Lisa Simpson: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
- Homer Simpson: Well, I think the veil might have died of loneliness.
- Brother Faith: [fixing a man's misshapen elbow] The power of faith compels you. Heal!
- [yanks at his elbow]
- Brother Faith: Take that, Satan!