The Simpsons (TV Series)
Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? (1992)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Blue-Haired Lawyer, Homeless Man #2, Newsreader, Gomer Pyle, Barney Gumble, Homeless Man #3, Baby Representative
Photos
Quotes
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Doctor : This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat.
[he looks and sees Homer eating a drumstick]
Doctor : Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer Simpson : Go to hell.
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Mr. Burns : Before you begin, let me make one thing clear to you. I want your legal advice, I even pay for it.
[building]
Mr. Burns : But to me you're all vipers! You live on personal injury, you live on divorces, you live on pain and misery...!
[calms down]
Mr. Burns : But I'm rambling. Anybody want any coffee?
Blue Haired Lawyer : I'll have some coffee.
Mr. Burns : Want it black, don't you? Black like your heart! It's so hard for me to listen to you...
[shouts]
Mr. Burns : I hate you all so much!
[calms down]
Mr. Burns : I'm sorry, it's my problem, I'll deal with it. Please continue.
Blue Haired Lawyer : If you offer Mr. Simpson a token sum, say a couple of thou, he'll be so dazzled he'll sign anything you shove under his nose.
Mr. Burns : Oh, brilliant! A cash settlement...
[shouts]
Mr. Burns : I could have figured that out, you buttoned-down maggot!
Blue Haired Lawyer : Do you have any cream?
Mr. Burns : Oh yes, of course. Where are my manners?
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Homer Simpson : Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew two thousand bucks on it, when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb : Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?
Homer Simpson : I try, but I can't.
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[Homer is moping about his broken couch]
Joe Frazier : I know how you feel, Homer. You lost your couch. I lost the heavyweight championship.
Homer Simpson : [scoffs] Heavyweight championship... there's like three of those! That couch was one of a kind.
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Herb : Let me show you this.
[Herb sets a drinking bird mechanism on the table]
Homer : [amazed] It's drinking the water!
Herb : Take it easy, Homer. Now, this device shows how a product, carefully marketed...
Homer : This is the greatest invention in the world! You'll make a million dollars!
Herb : No, Homer, that invention is out already. Anyway ...
Homer : [chuckling] Heheheheh, it's going back for more!
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Marge Simpson : How was work today?
Homer Simpson : Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough... .
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[sitting in a vibrating massage chair]
Homer : Now excuse me while I kiss the sky.
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Herb : [about to meet Homer again] What do I say to this guy? This is the guy who ruined me! On the other hand, he's family. So many emotions, how do I express them?
Homer Simpson : [Opens the door and sees Herb] Herb?
[Herb punches him across the face, and Homer collapses to the ground]
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Herb : [hugging them] Bart! Lisa! I'm so happy to see you.
Homer : [rubbing his cheek] You weren't so happy to see me.
Herb : I'm sorry. Homer, but I'm still mad at you. Everything you say just makes me want to punch you in the face!
Homer : Well, while you're a guest in my house, could you just kick me in the butt?
Herb : I'll try, but I'm not making any promises.