The Simpsons (TV Series)

Brother's Little Helper (1999)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders, Ralph Wiggum

Quotes 

• Principal Skinner : I'm afraid I'll have to expel your son

  Marge Simpson : [gasps] 

  Principal Skinner : Unless you're willing to try a radical, untested, potentially dangerous...

  Homer Simpson : Candy bar?

  Principal Skinner : No. It's a new drug called Focusyn.

  Marge Simpson : A drug? I know Bart can be rambunctious, but he's not some hyperactive monster.

  [Bart appears outside the window, dressed as a cheerleader] 

  Bart Simpson : Gimme an F! Gimme an art!

  Principal Skinner : Good Lord! He's gotten into the pep closet!

  Homer Simpson : I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet.

• Bart Simpson : I don't wanna take drugs.

  Homer Simpson : Sure you do. All your favorite stars have used drugs. Brett Butler, Tim Allen...

  Marge Simpson : Tommy Lee...

  Homer Simpson : Andy Dick...

  Bart Simpson : He's just flamboyant.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, and I'm a size four.

• Ralph Wiggum : And I want a bike, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey...

  Hosey the Bear : You're not going to set any fires, are ya?

  Ralph Wiggum : At my house, we call them uh-ohs.

• Marge Simpson : Hmm?

  [reads a note taped to her chair] 

  Marge Simpson : "Thank you in advance for a world class meal. You're an inspiration to our entire organization. Thank you again, Bart." Oh, what a thoughtful gesture.

  Bart Simpson : Cost of paper: five cents. A mother's love: priceless.

  Marge Simpson : Aw.

  Homer Simpson : Do I get a card?

  Bart Simpson : No, but here's a book called "Chicken Soup for the Loser" that gave Bill Bruckner the courage to open a chain of laundromats.

  Homer Simpson : Hmmm... my career has kind of lost momentum.

• Bart Simpson : Joke if you will, but did you know most people use ten per cent of their brains? I am now one of them. Before, my energy was all over the place. Now, it's concentrated like a laser beam. Well, this has been terrific. Let's do it again sometime.

  Lisa Simpson : Are you standing up to get me to leave?

  Bart Simpson : It's from the book.

  Lisa Simpson : [scans the book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens"]  Hey! I'm not a Time Burglar!

  Bart Simpson : [opens electronic organizer, types as he speaks]  Memo to self: Lock door.

  Lisa Simpson : All right, I'll go! You don't have to be a jerk about it.

  Bart Simpson : [typing again]  Memo to self: Shut up, Lisa.

• [Homer goes crazy after eating one of Bart's pills] 

  Rod Flanders : Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, daddy?

  Ned Flanders : Looks like it. Run and get Daddy's exorcism tongs.

  Rod Flanders , Todd Flanders : Yaaaaaay!

• Bart Simpson : Look, a FIRE... engine.

  Principal Skinner : Stop that!

  Bart Simpson : Help help, FIRE... helmet!

• Bart Simpson : What's that stuff?

  Principal Skinner : Why, this is retardant.

  Bart Simpson : Hahaha, sure is. Hey, what's that?

  Principal Skinner : That's called a hose lengthener.

  Bart Simpson : Hahaha... you need one!

• Homer Simpson : Do I get a card?

  Bart : No. But here's a book called Chicken Soup for the Loser that gave Bill Buckner the courage to open up a chain of laundromats!