- [Homer wants to go to Moe's bar, but his driving license has been suspended]
- Lisa Simpson: Why don't you take public transportation?
- Homer Simpson: Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.
- George Wilson: Simpson, you're a menace!
- Martha Wilson: Leave him alone George.
- George Wilson: Martha, I want a divorce.
- Martha Wilson: Oh thank you, you've made me so happy.
- [Marge drives Homer, Carl and Lenny home from a strip club]
- Lenny Leonard: Can we stop for ice cream?
- Carl Carlson: Homer always stops for ice cream.
- Marge Simpson: We'll see.
- Lenny Leonard: That always means no.
- Barney Gumble: Why don't you get one of those hands-free phones? It's the next best thing to paying attention to the road!
- Homer Simpson: Let's go for a nice family walk around the block.
- Lisa Simpson: I want to amble.
- Bart Simpson: I want to saunter.
- Lisa Simpson: Amble!
- Bart Simpson: Saunter!
- Lisa Simpson: Amble!
- Bart Simpson: Saunter!
- Marge Simpson: Stop saying things!
- Apu Nahasapemapetilon: Manjula, I'm so glad you have finally forgiven me for having that affair.
- [Manjula elbows him hard in the stomach]
- Apu Nahasapemapetilon: She used to elbow me in the face!
- Marge Simpson: I guess I'll have to do all your driving chores. That's what a good wife does, picks up the slack.
- Homer Simpson: That reminds me, we gotta pick up my slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville.
- Marge Simpson: Why can't you use the local dry cleaner?
- Homer Simpson: I didn't want them to know my size!
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, can you please get me the syrup.
- [Homer gets the syrup from the cupboard]
- Homer Simpson: See, before, I probably would have just driven to the syrup.
- Homer Simpson: I have to help her. If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, Moe's very happy. But for once, this isn't about Moe.