The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart on the Road (1996)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• [Lisa tells Homer about Bart's problem after making him promise not to get mad] 

  Lisa : [rapidly]  Bart rented a car with a phony driver's license and drove Milhouse, Martin, and Nelson to a wig outlet in Knoxville and the car got crushed and they're out of money and they can't get home and Bart's working as a courier and just came back from Hong Kong!

  [Homer's face turns pink, but his voice is eerily calm] 

  Homer : Yes, that's a real pickle. Would you excuse me for a moment?

  [He puts on a radiation suit hood and screams out indistinguishable profanities, fogging the glass of the faceplate. When he takes the hood off, he is eerily calm again] 

  Homer : All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to fly home. Then I will murder him.

• Homer : Lisa, would you like a donut?

  Lisa : No thanks. Do you have any fruit?

  Homer : This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

• [When the school replaces a normal school day with "Follow your parents to work" day, Marge encourages Lisa to go to the nuclear plant, while Bart looks forward to staying home, "observing" Marge] 

  Marge : Lisa, you've always been interested in nuclear power.

  Lisa : Mom, I've signed numerous petitions to shut that place down.

  Marge : Well, there you go.

  Bart : Mom, you're in the way of the TV. If you want to, you can fill out my form.

  Marge : [reading]  "Parent's occupation... Please note that 'homemaker' is not allowed, as it is not real work, that's why you don't get paid." Mmmm...

  Lisa : Bart can take my place at the nuclear power plant.

  Marge : But Bart so wanted to see women in the workplace.

  Lisa : Well, how about Aunt Patty and Aunt Selma at the DMV?

  [Bart gasps] 

  Marge : Thank you, Lisa! I would have never thought of that.

  [Lisa chuckles]