The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart on the Road (1996)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Maggie Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after seeing the movie "Naked Lunch"] 

  Nelson : I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

• [When the school replaces a normal school day with "Follow your parents to work" day, Marge encourages Lisa to go to the nuclear plant, while Bart looks forward to staying home, "observing" Marge] 

  Marge : Lisa, you've always been interested in nuclear power.

  Lisa : Mom, I've signed numerous petitions to shut that place down.

  Marge : Well, there you go.

  Bart : Mom, you're in the way of the TV. If you want to, you can fill out my form.

  Marge : [reading]  "Parent's occupation... Please note that 'homemaker' is not allowed, as it is not real work, that's why you don't get paid." Mmmm...

  Lisa : Bart can take my place at the nuclear power plant.

  Marge : But Bart so wanted to see women in the workplace.

  Lisa : Well, how about Aunt Patty and Aunt Selma at the DMV?

  [Bart gasps] 

  Marge : Thank you, Lisa! I would have never thought of that.

  [Lisa chuckles] 

• Milhouse Van Houten : [as the guys try to decide on where to go, Milhouse looks at a guide to the World's Fair in Knoxville, TN, but he doesn't realize that the fair was in 1982]  How about a fair? Not just a county fair, not just a Europe fair but a world's fair! The World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee.

  Bart : Keep reading.

  Milhouse Van Houten : The Hungarians have built a giant, motorized Rubik's Cube and the fair's symbol is the sun sphere which sits atop a 266-foot-tall steel shaft.

  Bart : What's inside?

  Milhouse Van Houten : An information desk! Cool!

  Bart : So, it's a choice between Disney World and Knoxville.

  Milhouse Van Houten , Nelson , Martin Prince : Knoxville, Knoxville, Knoxville!

  Bart : I concur.

• Nelson : [Nelson threw a rock at the sun sphere and knocked it down, but it crushed their car]  But on the plus side, I knocked over the sun sphere. Ha-ha!

• [Milhouse, Nelson and Martin are being driven by Bart] 

  Martin Prince : Bart, can we stop for ice cream?

  Bart : Yes.

  [later; the boys all have ice creams] 

  Nelson : Bart, can we weigh the car at that weigh station?

  Bart : Yeah.

  [later] 

  Milhouse Van Houten : Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?

  Bart : I don't see why not.

  [later; a dishevelled, Nubbins Sawyer-esque man is sitting between Nelson and Martin] 

  Hitchhiker : Bart, can we stop for ice cream?

  Bart : Yes.

  [later; the boys all have ice creams again, as does the hitchhiker] 

  Hitchhiker : Well, I didn't think I *was* rehabilitated, but, uh, I guess they needed the extra bed.

• Milhouse Van Houten : [They arrive in Branson, Missouri]  What is this place?

  Bart : Branson, Missouri. My dad says it's like Vegas if it were run by Ned Flanders.

• Bart : Uh, excuse me. Is this the world's fair visitor's center?

  Wig Shop Owner : Used to be, back in 1982. You're 14 years too late.

  Milhouse Van Houten : But there's another world's fair coming soon, right? Before Friday?

  Bart : What about the sun sphere?

  Wig Shop Owner : You mean the wig sphere. You're welcome to go up there if you want to see 16,000 boxes of unsold wigs. Now, are you gentlemen gonna buy some wigs or ain't ya?

  Milhouse Van Houten : [They're all wearing lady wigs]  I guess fate was against us.