The Simpsons (TV Series)

A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (2001)

Harry Shearer: Animal Control Man, Lenny, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Ned Flanders, Kent Brockman, Eddie

Quotes 

• Mr. Burns : So, what shall we do tomorrow? Go grousing? Or, if you'd rather stay home you could sing, while I accompany you on the clavichord...

  Gloria : Actually, Monty, I...

  Mr. Burns : Or, I've got some wonderful stereopticon images of the Crimean War!

  Gloria : Look, I had a lot of fun today, but I don't think we're right for each other. The age difference is just too...

  Mr. Burns : Oh, balderdash. It's not important how old you are on parchment, it's how old you feel in the humours!

  Gloria : I'm sorry, Monty...

• [on the phone] 

  Homer : But Mr. Burns, I can't find you funny anymore.

  Mr. Burns : I'll either tickle your ribs or feed them to my dogs. Now we're ordering out, so what would you like on your pizza pie...? Extra cheese? Who do you take me for, Lorenzo de Medici?

• Gloria : You're always laughing and tenting your fingers. I like that.

  Mr. Burns : Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Excellent.

  Gloria : And you're so upbeat. You think everything's excellent!

• Mr. Burns : I don't understand it. I turned around and she was gone, along with my virile younger friend.

  Kent Brockman : Well, according to our poll 49% of the viewers think "he's too old", while 51% think "she's a skank".

• Mr. Burns : [walking into strip club]  Great heavens! It's one of those nude female fire stations.

• Gloria : I've got to be honest, Monty: I've never dated anyone who knew Calvin Coolidge.

  Mr. Burns : Well, I've never dated anyone with their original hair and teeth.

  [They both laugh]