The Simpsons (TV Series)

A Fish Called Selma (1996)

Phil Hartman: Troy McClure, Fat Tony

Photos 

Quotes 

• Waiter : Cigarette, Mrs. McClure?

  Troy McClure : You bet! From now on, she's smoking for two!

• MacArthur Parker : Troy, Mac Parker. Ever hear of "Planet of the Apes"?

  Troy McClure : Ehh... the movie or the planet?

  MacArthur Parker : The brand-new multi-million dollar musical! And you are starring as the human.

  Troy McClure : It's the part I was born to play, baby!

• Troy McClure : I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

  [singing] 

• [after being told by Marge that Troy only married her to help his career, Selma returns home to find Troy lounging by the pool] 

  Selma : [firmly]  Troy is this a sham marriage?

  Troy : [causally]  Sure, baby, is that a problem-o?

• Troy McClure : Hello, Selma Bouvier? It's Troy McClure. You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.

• Troy : Sure you'll be a sham wife, but you'll be the envy of every other sham wife in town!

• Troy McClure : [because Troy needs glasses to drive, he keeps hitting parked cars]  Hey, these guys are all over the road!

• Chimpanzee #1 : Help, the human is about to escape.

  Troy McClure : Gets you paws off me, you dirty ape.

  [singing] 

• Selma : Are you gay?

  Troy McClure : Gay? I wish! If I were gay, there'd be no problem. No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs. You see...

  Selma : [interrupting]  Stop!

• Troy McClure : ive ben reading alot of scripts latey its cheaper than going to the movies.

• Troy McClure : That's right, boys! Troy's back from the gutter, and he's brought someone with him!

• Selma : But... don't you love me?

  Troy McClure : Suuurrre I do, like I love Fresca. Isn't that enough?

• Troy McClure : [drunk]  Gee that's a great idea Homer but I think they already made a bunch of movies about World War II!

  Homer Simpson : Aaaww.

• Troy McClure : My good looks paid for that pool and my talent filled it with water hi im try mcclure yore future uncle.

• Troy : No longer cance I conceal my love, my wimple turtle dove.

  Troy : No longer cance I conceal my love, my wimple turtle dove.

  [at the same time Troy is saying the exact same line in the film "Muppets go Midevil"] 

  Selma : Ohhh ohhhhh...

  Miss Piggy : Ohhh ohhhhh...

  [Miss Piggy same the same thing at the same time] 

  Troy : Oh, princess fare, wills thou grant me thy dainty hoof in marriage?

  Troy : Oh, princess fare, wills thou grant me thy dainty hoof in marriage?

  [at the same time Troy is saying the exact same line in the film "Muppets go Midevil"] 

  Selma : Oh, Troy, I will.

  Miss Piggy : Oh, sir Lancelot, I will.

  [Miss Piggy says at the same time]