Simon & Simon (TV Series)

D-I-V-O-R-C-E (1986)

Jack Elam: Bud Krelman

Quotes 

• Bud Krelman : [walks into Rick and A.J.'s office]  Hiya boys!

  Andrew Jackson 'A.J.' Simon : Uncle Buddy! How nice to see you. What can we do for you?

  Bud Krelman : [shakes Rick's hand]  Rick, nice to see ya boy. A.J.,

  [proceeds to shake A.J.'s hand and notices a shiner and bandage over his eye] 

  Bud Krelman : holy mackerel!

  [clears his throat] 

  Bud Krelman : I want to hire you fellas. Edie's been cheatin' on me. She just ripped off our joint bank account for five grand and I need your help. I want a divorce.

  Rick Simon : [scene cuts to all three walking outside on a sidewalk and a small footbridge]  Well, we'd love to help you out Bud but don't you think there's a little bit of conflict of interest here? I mean we are working for Edie.

  Bud Krelman : Well, you guys are the only dicks I know.

  [short pause] 

  Bud Krelman : I mean investigators. Anyway, we both got the same lawyer.