- Cosmo Kramer: They're redoing the Cloud Club.
- Jerry: Oh, that restaurant on top of the Chrysler Building? Yeah, that's a good idea.
- Cosmo Kramer: Of course it is. It's my idea. I conceived this whole project two years ago.
- Jerry: Which part? The renovating the restaurant you don't own part, or spending the 200 million you don't have part?
- Cosmo Kramer: You know Darin, if you had told me 25 years ago that someday, I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would have said you're crazy. Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window!
- Mr. Thomassoulo: You win, George. We've had it. If you leave right now, Play Now will give you six months' pay. That's half of your entire contract. Please... just go.
- George Costanza: You see, if I stay the whole year, I get it all.
- Mr. Thomassoulo: Want to play hardball, huh? Fine.
- [picking up his phone receiver and turing on the intercom]
- Mr. Thomassoulo: Attention, Play Now employees. George Costanza's handicapped bathroom on the sixteenth floor is now open to all employees and their families.
- [he hangs up]
- George Costanza: Well played.
- Mr. Thomassoulo: I'll see you in hell, Costanza.
- Jerry: The bump into always leads to the backslide.
- Elaine Benes: David and I will not be getting back together.
- Jerry: Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
- George Costanza: That's beautiful.
- Elaine Benes: What about you? You were even engaged, and you cut it off just like that.
- Jerry: That's different. I didn't have feelings for those people. But you, you'll backslide.
- Elaine Benes: You want to bet?
- Jerry: Stakes?
- Elaine Benes: Fifty.
- Jerry: Dollars?
- Elaine Benes: All right. Witness?
- George Costanza: Witness.
- Jerry: Done.
- George Costanza: Percentage?
- Jerry, Elaine Benes: No.
- Dean Jones: I've been reviewing Darin's internship journal. Doing laundry.
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah.
- Dean Jones: Mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman.
- Cosmo Kramer: I know it sounds prety glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica.
- Dean Jones: As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
- Cosmo Kramer: And with Darin's help, we'll get that chicken.
- Cosmo Kramer: Did you bring the video camera?
- Jerry: Yeah. I put a six hour tape in. That should cover the experiment, the arrest, and most of your trial.
- Jerry: Hey, there's Claire. I better go down.
- George Costanza: Hey, there's Kramer and Darin.
- Jerry: There's the giant ball of oil. Claire's right underneath that thing. Claire! Hello! Helloooo! Helllooooo!
- Claire: I don't believe this. I am not looking up if you're going to do that voice!
- Cosmo Kramer: Bombs away.
- Jerry: This is gonna be a shame.
- Claire: What's wrong with the belt?
- Jerry: I went to the movies last night and I unbuckled a little wobbly and the buckle kind of banged against the side of the urinal. So...
- [throwing the belt away]
- Jerry: ...that's it.
- Claire: You're insane.
- Jerry: Oh, yes. Quite.
- Cosmo Kramer: [entering] Hello.
- Jerry: Of course it's a sliding scale.
- Cosmo Kramer: Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
- Jerry: I can ballpark it.
- [entering his office through an air vent after finding the door boarded up]
- George Costanza: Hello, Margery. George Costanza. How are you sweetheart? Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks.
- Dean Jones: I'm sorry, but we can't allow Darin to continue working with you.
- Cosmo Kramer: Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.
- Dean Jones: Your fly is open.
- Jerry: [Kramer and Darin roll an oil drum down the hallway] Trouble down at the plant?
- Cosmo Kramer: It's a tank of oil. Darin and I are finally gonna test out my bladder system.
- George Costanza: You have to drink that whole thing?
- Cosmo Kramer: No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact.
- Jerry: [ironically] I understand.
- George Costanza: Would a giant, rubber ball work?
- Cosmo Kramer: Conceivably.
- George Costanza: Well, Play Now has all kinds of different rubber balls. Why don't we test your bladder system at my office?
- Jerry: You're not.
- George Costanza: Oh, yes I am. Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty? Well, there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil.
- Cosmo Kramer: [Kramer reading the newspaper after finding out his restaurant idea was taken] 2.9% financing on a Toyota 1-ton! That was my idea too!
- [after Play Now learns George isn't really handicapped]
- Mr. Thomassoulo: George, I've realized we've signed a one year contract with you, but at this point, I think it's best that we both go our separate ways.
- George Costanza: I don't understand.
- Mr. Thomassoulo: We don't like you and we want you to leave.
- Claire: [learning of "the voice"] So is it fun humiliating me?
- Jerry: No, it's not you. It's your stomach; he's talking with this funny, booming, jovial voice.
- [doing the voice]
- Jerry: Hellooo.
- Claire: So you think I'm fat?
- Jerry: No, it's...
- Darin: [entering] Kramer says "Hey, buddy."
- Jerry: Hey, we're kind of in the middle of something here. Would you mind coming back later?
- Darin: Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Should we set something up now?
- Jerry: GET OUT!
- George Costanza: Good morning.
- Worker: Go to hell.
- George Costanza: Hi Alice, that's a nice dress.
- Alice: Don't even look at me.
- George Costanza: Hi Glenn.
- Glenn: Go to hell.
- George Costanza: Heard that one already.
- George Costanza: They sent some guys in to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow, they're putting in asbestos.
- Elaine Benes: Hey.
- Jerry: [doing "the voice"] Helloooo!
- George Costanza: [doing "the voice", too] Helloooo, Elaine.
- Elaine Benes: What's that?
- Jerry: Oh, it's just this stupid thing.
- Elaine Benes: Well, I'm sure it's stupid. It's not about me, is it?
- Jerry: [doing "the voice" again] Noooo.
- George Costanza: [doing "the voice" again, too] Not at all.
- Elaine Benes: Tell me!
- Jerry: All right. You know this girl Claire I'm seeing?
- Elaine Benes: Yeah.
- Jerry: Well, he and I starting joking that when she falls asleep, her stomach stays awake all night and talks to me.
- Elaine Benes: How is it talking?
- Jerry: Well, her belly button is like a mouth.
- [pantomiming his belly button moving like a mouth and doing the voice]
- Jerry: I'm bored. Talk to me.
- Elaine Benes: Oh, I gotta start taking these "stupid" warnings more seriously.