"Seinfeld" The Voice (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)

(1997)

Jason Alexander: George Costanza

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Mr. Thomassoulo : You win, George. We've had it. If you leave right now, Play Now will give you six months' pay. That's half of your entire contract. Please... just go.

    George Costanza : You see, if I stay the whole year, I get it all.

    Mr. Thomassoulo : Want to play hardball, huh? Fine.

    [picking up his phone receiver and turing on the intercom] 

    Mr. Thomassoulo : Attention, Play Now employees. George Costanza's handicapped bathroom on the sixteenth floor is now open to all employees and their families.

    [he hangs up] 

    George Costanza : Well played.

    Mr. Thomassoulo : I'll see you in hell, Costanza.

  • Jerry : The bump into always leads to the backslide.

    Elaine Benes : David and I will not be getting back together.

    Jerry : Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

    George Costanza : That's beautiful.

    Elaine Benes : What about you? You were even engaged, and you cut it off just like that.

    Jerry : That's different. I didn't have feelings for those people. But you, you'll backslide.

    Elaine Benes : You want to bet?

    Jerry : Stakes?

    Elaine Benes : Fifty.

    Jerry : Dollars?

    Elaine Benes : All right. Witness?

    George Costanza : Witness.

    Jerry : Done.

    George Costanza : Percentage?

    Jerry , Elaine Benes : No.

  • Jerry : Hey, there's Claire. I better go down.

    George Costanza : Hey, there's Kramer and Darin.

    Jerry : There's the giant ball of oil. Claire's right underneath that thing. Claire! Hello! Helloooo! Helllooooo!

    Claire : I don't believe this. I am not looking up if you're going to do that voice!

    Cosmo Kramer : Bombs away.

    Jerry : This is gonna be a shame.

  • [entering his office through an air vent after finding the door boarded up] 

    George Costanza : Hello, Margery. George Costanza. How are you sweetheart? Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks.

  • Jerry : [Kramer and Darin roll an oil drum down the hallway]  Trouble down at the plant?

    Cosmo Kramer : It's a tank of oil. Darin and I are finally gonna test out my bladder system.

    George Costanza : You have to drink that whole thing?

    Cosmo Kramer : No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact.

    Jerry : [ironically]  I understand.

    George Costanza : Would a giant, rubber ball work?

    Cosmo Kramer : Conceivably.

    George Costanza : Well, Play Now has all kinds of different rubber balls. Why don't we test your bladder system at my office?

    Jerry : You're not.

    George Costanza : Oh, yes I am. Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty? Well, there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil.

  • [after Play Now learns George isn't really handicapped] 

    Mr. Thomassoulo : George, I've realized we've signed a one year contract with you, but at this point, I think it's best that we both go our separate ways.

    George Costanza : I don't understand.

    Mr. Thomassoulo : We don't like you and we want you to leave.

  • George Costanza : Good morning.

    Worker : Go to hell.

    George Costanza : Hi Alice, that's a nice dress.

    Alice : Don't even look at me.

    George Costanza : Hi Glenn.

    Glenn : Go to hell.

    George Costanza : Heard that one already.

  • George Costanza : They sent some guys in to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow, they're putting in asbestos.

  • Elaine Benes : Hey.

    Jerry : [doing "the voice"]  Helloooo!

    George Costanza : [doing "the voice", too]  Helloooo, Elaine.

    Elaine Benes : What's that?

    Jerry : Oh, it's just this stupid thing.

    Elaine Benes : Well, I'm sure it's stupid. It's not about me, is it?

    Jerry : [doing "the voice" again]  Noooo.

    George Costanza : [doing "the voice" again, too]  Not at all.

    Elaine Benes : Tell me!

    Jerry : All right. You know this girl Claire I'm seeing?

    Elaine Benes : Yeah.

    Jerry : Well, he and I starting joking that when she falls asleep, her stomach stays awake all night and talks to me.

    Elaine Benes : How is it talking?

    Jerry : Well, her belly button is like a mouth.

    [pantomiming his belly button moving like a mouth and doing the voice] 

    Jerry : I'm bored. Talk to me.

    Elaine Benes : Oh, I gotta start taking these "stupid" warnings more seriously.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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