Photos
Quotes
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Cosmo Kramer : They're redoing the Cloud Club.
Jerry : Oh, that restaurant on top of the Chrysler Building? Yeah, that's a good idea.
Cosmo Kramer : Of course it is. It's my idea. I conceived this whole project two years ago.
Jerry : Which part? The renovating the restaurant you don't own part, or spending the 200 million you don't have part?
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Jerry : The bump into always leads to the backslide.
Elaine Benes : David and I will not be getting back together.
Jerry : Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
George Costanza : That's beautiful.
Elaine Benes : What about you? You were even engaged, and you cut it off just like that.
Jerry : That's different. I didn't have feelings for those people. But you, you'll backslide.
Elaine Benes : You want to bet?
Jerry : Stakes?
Elaine Benes : Fifty.
Jerry : Dollars?
Elaine Benes : All right. Witness?
George Costanza : Witness.
Jerry : Done.
George Costanza : Percentage?
Jerry , Elaine Benes : No.
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Cosmo Kramer : Did you bring the video camera?
Jerry : Yeah. I put a six hour tape in. That should cover the experiment, the arrest, and most of your trial.
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Jerry : Hey, there's Claire. I better go down.
George Costanza : Hey, there's Kramer and Darin.
Jerry : There's the giant ball of oil. Claire's right underneath that thing. Claire! Hello! Helloooo! Helllooooo!
Claire : I don't believe this. I am not looking up if you're going to do that voice!
Cosmo Kramer : Bombs away.
Jerry : This is gonna be a shame.
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Claire : What's wrong with the belt?
Jerry : I went to the movies last night and I unbuckled a little wobbly and the buckle kind of banged against the side of the urinal. So...
[throwing the belt away]
Jerry : ...that's it.
Claire : You're insane.
Jerry : Oh, yes. Quite.
Cosmo Kramer : [entering] Hello.
Jerry : Of course it's a sliding scale.
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Cosmo Kramer : Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
Jerry : I can ballpark it.
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Jerry : [Kramer and Darin roll an oil drum down the hallway] Trouble down at the plant?
Cosmo Kramer : It's a tank of oil. Darin and I are finally gonna test out my bladder system.
George Costanza : You have to drink that whole thing?
Cosmo Kramer : No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact.
Jerry : [ironically] I understand.
George Costanza : Would a giant, rubber ball work?
Cosmo Kramer : Conceivably.
George Costanza : Well, Play Now has all kinds of different rubber balls. Why don't we test your bladder system at my office?
Jerry : You're not.
George Costanza : Oh, yes I am. Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty? Well, there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil.
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Jerry Seinfeld : People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax.
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Claire : [learning of "the voice"] So is it fun humiliating me?
Jerry : No, it's not you. It's your stomach; he's talking with this funny, booming, jovial voice.
[doing the voice]
Jerry : Hellooo.
Claire : So you think I'm fat?
Jerry : No, it's...
Darin : [entering] Kramer says "Hey, buddy."
Jerry : Hey, we're kind of in the middle of something here. Would you mind coming back later?
Darin : Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Should we set something up now?
Jerry : GET OUT!
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Elaine Benes : Hey.
Jerry : [doing "the voice"] Helloooo!
George Costanza : [doing "the voice", too] Helloooo, Elaine.
Elaine Benes : What's that?
Jerry : Oh, it's just this stupid thing.
Elaine Benes : Well, I'm sure it's stupid. It's not about me, is it?
Jerry : [doing "the voice" again] Noooo.
George Costanza : [doing "the voice" again, too] Not at all.
Elaine Benes : Tell me!
Jerry : All right. You know this girl Claire I'm seeing?
Elaine Benes : Yeah.
Jerry : Well, he and I starting joking that when she falls asleep, her stomach stays awake all night and talks to me.
Elaine Benes : How is it talking?
Jerry : Well, her belly button is like a mouth.
[pantomiming his belly button moving like a mouth and doing the voice]
Jerry : I'm bored. Talk to me.
Elaine Benes : Oh, I gotta start taking these "stupid" warnings more seriously.
