Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Understudy (1995)

Michael Richards: Cosmo Kramer

Quotes 

• Cosmo Kramer : [has just learned Jerry's girlfriend is Bette Midler's understudy in the Rochelly, Rochelle musical]  Understudys, now they're a shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm glad that she's an understudy. This way I avoid having to go backstage and think of something to say.

  George Costanza : Going backstage is the worst. Especially when they stink, then it's a real problem.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Just once I'd like to tell someone they stink. 'Ya know what? I didn't like the show, I didn't like you, ya just really stunk. The whole thing: really bad. Stinkaroo. Thanks for the tickets though.'

• Cosmo Kramer : [to Gennice]  So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway? Well, let me tell you something, Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know. My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out. My Broadway's the Broadway of Merman and Martin and Fontaine, and if you think you can build yourself up by knocking other people down, well good luck!

• Elaine Benes : I'm telling you Jerry, I have a sneaking suspicion the women at the nail parlour were talking about me. I think they've been calling me a dog.

  Jerry Seinfeld : How would you know? You don't speak Korean.

  Elaine Benes : Because this woman came in with a dog and Ruby calls the dog the same word they were saying when they were pointing at me, "gae, gae, gae".

  Cosmo Kramer : Ya know, maybe in Korea, dog isn't an insult. It could be like the word fox to us. 'Oh, she's a dog.'