- George Costanza: [to Jerry] You're a good friend. If you killed somebody, I wouldn't turn you in.
- [George leaves]
- Jerry: Hey, Kramer, if I killed somebody, would you turn me in?
- Cosmo Kramer: Definitely.
- Jerry: You're kidding!
- Cosmo Kramer: No, no. I would turn you in.
- Jerry: You would turn me in?
- Cosmo Kramer: I wouldn't even think about it.
- Jerry: I can't believe I'm hearing this. You're supposed to be a friend of mine!
- Cosmo Kramer: Well, what kind of person are you going around killing people?
- Jerry: Well, I am sure I had a good reason!
- Cosmo Kramer: Well, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?
- Jerry: But you know me!
- Cosmo Kramer: I thought I did!
- Jerry: Let me take a guess: she cried, and you caved.
- George Costanza: How did you know that?
- Jerry: I live and breathe, my friend. I live and breathe.
- Rabbi: Apparently, she doesn't think much of this George fellow either. I recall the word "loser" peppered throughout her conversation.
- George Costanza: I never realized how powerful these tears are. I could have postponed it another 5 years if I wanted to.
- Rabbi: Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend enter into this holiest of unions?
- Elaine Benes: No, no, no it doesn't. No joy. No joy whatsoever.
- Jerry: So, you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it.
- Cosmo Kramer: Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
- Jerry: Another caffè latte?
- Cosmo Kramer: You better believe it.
- Jerry: Since when are you so trendy?
- Cosmo Kramer: Hey, baby, I set the trends! Who do you think started this whole caffè latte?
- Jerry: I don't recall you drinking caffè lattes.
- Cosmo Kramer: I've been drinking caffè lattes since the fifth grade and I haven't looked back.