Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Burning (1998)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes
Photos
Quotes
-
Elaine : Here's one. I borrowed Puddy's car and all the presets on his radio were Christian rock stations.
George Costanza : I like Christian rock. It's very positive. It's not like those real musicians who think they're so cool and hip.
Elaine : So you think that Puddy actually believes in something?
Jerry : It's a used car, he probably never changed the presets.
Elaine : Yes, he is lazy.
Jerry : Plus, he probably doesn't know how to program the buttons.
Elaine : Yes, he is dumb.
Jerry : So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?
Elaine : Dumb and lazy, I understand.
-
Elaine : Do you believe in God?
David Puddy : Yes.
Elaine : Oh! So you're pretty religious?
David Puddy : I try.
Elaine : So is it a problem that I'm not really religious?
David Puddy : Not for me.
Elaine : Why not?
David Puddy : I'm not the one going to hell.
-
Cosmo Kramer : Well, I've got gonorrhea.
Elaine : That sounds about right.
-
Elaine : Well, I'm going to hell.
Jerry : That sounds about right. Hey, did you hear the one about the guy in hell with the coffee and the donuts?
Elaine : Jerry, I'm not in the mood.
George Costanza : [to the waitress] I'll have some coffee and a donut.
-
Father Curtis : Let me see if I understand this. You're concerned that he isn't concerned that you're going to hell, and you feel that she's too bossy.
David Puddy : Yes.
Elaine : Yeah, that's right.
Father Curtis : Well, oftentimes in cases of interfaith marriages, couples have difficulty...
Elaine : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No one's getting married here.
Father Curtis : You aren't?
David Puddy : Naw.
Father Curtis : Oh
Elaine : We're just, you know, havin' a good time.
Father Curtis : Oh. Well then it's simple. You're both going to hell.
David Puddy : No way. This is BOGUS.
-
David Puddy : Elaine, they forgot to deliver your paper today. Why don't you just take that one.
Elaine : But that belongs to Mr potato guy. That's his.
David Puddy : Come on, get it.
Elaine : Well if you want it, you get it.
David Puddy : Sorry. Thou shalt not steal.
Elaine : Oh, but it's okay for me?
David Puddy : What do you care? You know where you're going.
-
Jerry : No no, he's pretending he's got gonorrhea so med students can diagnose it.
Cosmo Kramer : And it's a waste of my talent. It's just a little burning. Mickey, he got bacterial meningitis.
George Costanza : Well I guess there are no small diseases, only small actors.
[Kramer, Elaine and Jerry laugh]
George Costanza : Alright, that's it for me. goodnight everybody.
[exits]
Elaine : What was that?
Jerry : Showmanship. George is trying to get out on a high note.