- Judge: Oh, just as I thought. So you married an old philanderer, huh?
- Jerry Macy: I did not! You don't know Tom as well as I do.
- Judge: I don't want to.
- Father O'Dowd: Where can I take him to dinner - and we could bump into you, uh, purely by accident?
- Jerry Macy: We used to like the cocktail lounge at the Plaza.
- Father O'Dowd: Alright; how do I entice him to the Plaza?
- Jerry Macy: Simple - bring Lola.
- Father O'Dowd: That's not so funny. I liked your other joke better.
- Tom Macy: Won't you sit down, Father?
- Father O'Dowd: No, thank you... Goodbye, my dear... Tom, I'm leaving you on third base.
- Jerry Macy: When he's with me, he wants me - it's written all over his face. He - he just won't weaken and say so. And I refuse to run after him!
- Father O'Dowd: That's right. You must remain strong - and unhappy.
- Jerry Macy: Do you remember a toast you made? Before you were so stupid? When I promised your bride I'd be?
- Tom Macy: That's a little vague...
- Jerry Macy: Well, being a woman, I do... "If life's shadows lengthen over the years, our love will strengthen through laughter and tears. If words can express what is deep in my heart, I love you, my darling, 'til death..." Let's call it a day, Tom.
- [first lines]
- Tommy Macy: Mommy?
- Jerry Macy: Yes, dear?
- Tommy Macy: Are you sure this is Christmas Eve?
- Jerry Macy: Why, of course it is, dear; you mustn't be impatient, that's all.
- Father O'Dowd: There are no women around the athletic club. That's half the charm of eating out! I love to look at beautiful women.
- Tom Macy: Then I asked Jerry why she was suspicious. She said she ran into a jeweler - and you can have him - and he asked her how she liked the necklace I gave her.
- Joseph P. Garrity: Well, how *did* she like it?
- Tom Macy: I gave her a garbage disposal.
- Joseph P. Garrity: Oh, no...
- Tom Macy: Well, you see, we - we decided to give each other practical presents... Well, I - I hadn't had a very good year, you see.
- Joseph P. Garrity: No, I can imagine - what with buying necklaces and things.
- Joseph P. Garrity: Breaking up a marriage is a serious business, Tom. We lawy...
- Mrs. Garrity: Your dinner's ready.
- Joseph P. Garrity: We lawyers are duty-bound to preserve the sanctity of marriage. It's...
- Mrs. Garrity: It's on the table.
- Joseph P. Garrity: As I was saying, Tom, marriage is a beautiful thing...
- Mrs. Garrity: It's getting cold!
- Joseph P. Garrity: Oh, will you shut your big mouth?... Marriage can be very beautiful, Tom...
- Father O'Dowd: This is an adult problem - you've got to think of the little fellow first. And you can't be a jerk. He mustn't know that... until he's a little older.