- Reporter: Mr. Simpson, did you just bury all your money in the backyard?
- OJ Simpson: [chuckles] Did I bury the money? Come on, no way, no... there are two things that I have never done - beat a woman and all bury my money in the backyard. Yeah... you know, amd I don't even have a shovel...
- Reporter: Then... what's that?
- OJ Simpson: What?
- Reporter: In your hand, isn't that a shovel?
- White Trash family son: Sis, I got weird feelings about you.
- White Trash family daughter: You know, I, I'm not your sister, I'm just your half-sister.
- White Trash family son: But I wanna have sex with the half of you that ain't my sister!
- White Trash family father: Don't you talk like that to me, I may be your uncle, but I'm still your father, boy!
- Weekend Update Anchor: This week, the California Department of Corrections confirmed that Lyle Menendez and model Anna Erickson were married in prison. Following the ceremony, Menendez spent a romantic wedding night being raped by two white guys and a big black guy.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Actor Bruce Willis is filming his next movie, The Broadway Brawler in Wilmington, Delaware. Meanwhile, his wife Demi Moore is taking a break from movie work, saying she wants to spend more time with her huge breasts.