Roseanne (TV Series)

Secrets (1992)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Quotes 

• D.J. : [besides playing video games]  There's nothing else to do.

  Jackie : Aw, sure there is! When your Mom and I were your age, kids used to ride their bikes all over, and build tree forts, and dress up dogs in funny clothes... all kinds of stuff.

  D.J. : Fine. I'll go outside if I have to.

  Roseanne : Dress up dogs?

  Jackie : Yeah, the little white dog with a black eye.

  Roseanne : That wasn't us! That was "The Little Rascals"!

• Roseanne : [on the phone with Crystal, trying to plan an evening out]  Crystal, well we're supposed to go out tonight... I can't believe you've known about it for a week, and you still haven't even found a babysitter yet... Well, there's got to be some responsible teen-age girls out there. Let me ask Becky or Darlene. Maybe they know somebody... Okay, I'll call you back later. Bye.

  Jackie : Can't find anybody she trusts, huh.

  Roseanne : Nope, she might have to end up leaving them kids with her husband.

• Jackie : [about having to live on a very tight budget]  It - it - it could be done. I was watching this National Geographic special on desert people. Bedouins can live for three days on one fig.

  Roseanne : Well, that don't do me no good. My family can't live three days on one Bedouin.

• Jackie : [talking about what happened at the Lobo]  One of the drivers I work with was there. He said Mark got really drunk. He put his hand through the jukebox, and Dan had to go down there and smooth everything over.

  Roseanne : So, thaaaat's what's going on. I kneeeew I was busting Dan's chops for somethin'! I just didn't know what.