- Jackie Harris: Hey, Happy Halloween! Did you see the great pumpkin last night?
- Roseanne: No, Dan wore pajamas...
- Ghost of Hallowe'en Present: I am the Ghost of Halloween Present.
- Roseanne: No you're not, you're some big piece of candy corn!
- Roseanne: [to the candy corn shaped ghost of Halloween present] I hope nobody sees me with you, I'm supposed to be on Slim Fast.
- Darlene Conner: [entering the living room dressed as a crow pecked Tippi Hedren] Well, what do you think?
- Roseanne: Well it's nice to see you in a skirt again.
- Roseanne: [everybody at the lodge party is talking bad about Roseanne] Defend me, Dan!
- Dan Conner: [to the lodge members] Hey! Try living with the woman!