Roseanne (TV Series)

April Fool's Day (1990)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jackie : I have been dreading this for weeks. You know how crummy my math is.

  Roseanne : Well, no sweat, D.J. will be home by three.

• Jackie : Okay! What if she is supposed to get a 1099 and it got lost in the mail? And then the IRS is going to check her on it, and you guys are gonna have to have an audit!

  [melodramatic music plays] 

  Jackie : And they don't go back one year, you know. They can go back, like, six years to audit.

  [melodramatic music plays again, and Roseanne tries to find the source] 

  Jackie : And if you can't document every single, solitary deduction for the last six years, you got to pay. And not only the adjusted tax, but the penalties and the interest. And in order to make sure that you pay, they can freeze your bank account. They can garnish your wages. They can auction off your furniture!

  Roseanne : They'll auction our furniture? Let's not file for sure.

  Dan : Come on, Roseanne, what are we gonna do about this 1099? I ain't in no mood for an audit.

  [melodramatic music plays] 

  Roseanne : I think we should get out of this house!