Ripping Yarns (TV Series)

Tomkinson's Schooldays (1976)

Terry Jones: Mr. Ellis, Bear, Mr. Moodie, Director

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prologue Man : [with barely concealed unction]  Good evening. You know, I think it was G.K. Chestert, who once said...

  [forgets line] 

  Prompter : [out of vision]  "The follies..."

  Prologue Man : The follies of my youth...

  Prompter : "men's youth..."

  Prologue Man : [correcting himself]  Men's youth. Are in glorious retrospect.

  Prompter : "Are, in retrospect, glorious..."

  Prologue Man : And so, our story tonight...

  Prompter : No, "are, in retrospect, glorious."

  Prologue Man : Our story in retrospect...

  Prompter : No, "are, in retrospect, glorious."

  Prologue Man : [casting about]  Are... in retrospect... glorious...

  Prompter : "Compared..."

  Prologue Man : Compared... by Eddie Waring!

  Prompter : No no! "Compared *to*."

  Prologue Man : Compared...?

  Prompter : "The follies of men's youth are, in retrospect, glorious compared to..."

  Prologue Man : [utterly lost]  To...

  Prompter : "Compared to the follies of their old age."

  Prologue Man : [reminding himself]  Compared to the... follies of their... old age.

  [clears throat] 

  Prologue Man : Our sherry tonight...

  Prompter : No, no. "I think it was G.K. Chestert who once said, 'The follies of our youth are, in retrospect, glorious compared the follies of our old age.' And so our story tonight concerns a boy confronted at one and the same time with the follies of youth and old age."

  Prologue Man : That's it.

• Mr. Ellis : [in woodwork class]  What is that, Tomkinson?

  Tomkinson : [standing before an enormous ship he's assembling]  It's a model icebreaker, sir.

  Mr. Ellis : It's a bit big for a model, isn't it?

  Tomkinson : It's a full-scale model, sir.

  Mr. Ellis : [annoyed]  It's not a model if it's full-scale, Tomkinson, it's an icebreaker.

  Tomkinson : Yes, it's good, isn't it, sir? It's got three engines, an enormous...

  Mr. Ellis : No no no, that's not the point. That is not a model. It'll be hell if this comes out at speech day exhibition. You're a very stupid boy building icebreakers like this, Tomkinson.

  Tomkinson : [deflated]  Yes, sir.

  Mr. Ellis : Now I won't say anything to the headmaster if you can get it down to a minimum of four foot.

  Tomkinson : But sir! There's fifteen hundred tons of steel in this...

  Mr. Ellis : Do you want to come and see the headmaster with me?

  Tomkinson : No, sir.

  Mr. Ellis : Well, melt it down at once.