Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Dimension Jump (1991)

Craig Charles: Lister, Spanners

Quotes 

• Rimmer : I don't believe anybody would want to go on a fishing holiday when they know there's no fish.

  Dave Lister : We used to do it all the time back home. Used to go down the canal. Never any fish in that. We used to go condom fishing. I swear, one time I caught this 2lb black ribbed knobbler. It was about that big!

• Rimmer : You don't like Reggie Wilson? What? Not even "Pop Goes Delius" or "Funking Up Wagner"?

  Dave Lister : I prefer something slightly more melodious like the long, drawn-out death rattle of a man suffering from terminal flatulence.

• Lister : [explaining crash procedure]  Sit down, tuck your head between your legs and brace yourself!

  Rimmer : Now what?

  Lister : Open the in-flight magazine, and start reading. The dullness of the articles acts as a sedative. I mean look at this contents list: "Salt, an epicure's delight", "Classic wines of Estonia", "Flemish weaving: the traditional way"...

  Lister : [to Cat]  Don't fight it man, let it take ya...

• The Cat : [Lister, Cat and Kryten try to hide the fact they're going on a fishing holiday from Rimmer]  What's he talking about?

  Dave Lister : I don't know. For some reason, he's got this crazy, whacked-out idea that we're going on a fishing holiday.

  The Cat : Fishing holiday?

  Rimmer : [Reads letter from the boys]  Dear Rimmer, we're going on a fishing holiday to that ocean planet we passed two days ago. We tried to wake you, but couldn't. See you in three days, L, K and C.

• Ace Rimmer , Lister : [chanting]  A wooga, a wooga, a wah, a wah! A wooga, a wooga, a wah!

  Ace Rimmer : What a team. How you got that housing clear I'll never know.

  Lister : Come on, Ace, it was you! I could never have reconnected that fuel line.

  Ace Rimmer : Well, I wouldn't have been able to do it if you hadn't been holding me by the ankles.

  Lister : Well, how could you hang upside down and fix the starboard engine? It was totally brutal!

  Ace Rimmer : What a team.

  Lister : What a team!

  Rimmer : Now I know where I've seen you two, weren't you the double-action centerfold in July's edition of Big Boys in Boots?