- Steve Slater: [referring to Harry] Smile and enjoy it, Jamie. 'cause when I finish with him in court, it'll be a cold day in hell before you and your mother ever lay eyes on him again.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: This custody battle. It's crazy. You know... I mean...
- Maggie Spontini: I know.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: We can work these things out by ourselves, right? I mean... as soon as I get the magic shop, everything...
- Maggie Spontini: Oh, the magic shop? Then you're gonna' settle down and you're gonna' buy a real home? Right Harry? I heard that before. I heard it for eight years and I'm not gonna hear it again.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: So, you walked away?
- Maggie Spontini: Do you think that I wanted to leave my baby? God, I didn't have a choice, Harry. I couldn't sit around waiting for all your fantasies to come true. So, I left her. And I went out there and I made it happen, Harry. And now I can give her all the things that we always wanted to give her. Nice clothes. Good schools.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Why don't we give her these things together?
- Steve Slater: [to Maggie] You let him inside the house?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [surprised at Steve's sudden appearance] Well, not that it's any of your business but I was talking to Maggie who is still my wife about Jamie who will always be my daughter.
- Maggie Spontini: He was just leaving, Steve.
- Steve Slater: Good, because talking to you without your lawyer present could jeopardise his case. Just a little free legal advice.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't want your advice. I want my family.
- Steve Slater: Well, frankly Mr Spontini, other than a few signatures your family doesn't exist.
- Maggie Spontini: Harry, just leave.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Why don't you ask him to leave?
- Steve Slater: Keep it up. I can pretty much guarantee you no visitation rights.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: You can't keep me from my daughter.
- Steve Slater: Don't count on it. I always win.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: That's what this is about for you, isn't it? Winning? You don't care about Maggie. I know you don't care about Jamie...
- [Steve looks like he's about to take Sam's head off]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [Steve moves to take Sam on] What?
- Maggie Spontini: [Sam easily throws Steve to the floor] Stop!
- Jamie Spontini: [to Steve] Smooth move, ex-Lax.
- Maggie Spontini: Look, maybe you should both leave.
- Steve Slater: Come on, Maggie.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that's probably a good idea.
- [to Jamie]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Come here. I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart. OK.
- [kisses Maggie and then shoots Steve a dirty look who shoots Sam an equally dirty one]
- Admiral Al Calavicci: I remember my third-, fourth-, third-, third wife. Sharon and I, we fought for over eight months over Chester.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: You have a son?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Dog. Was a good dog. And she got him! I tell you, family court, women have all the power.
- [Sam is in the role of Harry Spontini, a magician]
- Admiral Al Calavicci: I, I'm sorry I missed your act, but... I caught a better one next door.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Let me guess, women's dressing room?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Take pity on me, Sam, I haven't been myself lately. Tina's been away for a couple of weeks visiting her mother. And... I do have my needs, you know.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: God forbid you should have two weeks' downtime.
- [Jamie is preparing the Table of Death]
- Jamie Spontini: I re-rigged the shackles, to open at once. It'll be a snap.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: If it's such a snap, uh... why, why do they call it the... Table of Death?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: 'cause two guys have died doing it.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [whispering to Al, with a twinge of panic] Two guys have died?
- Jamie Spontini: But you're better than them, Harry.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [uneasily] Huh. Yeah...
- Jamie Spontini: You will have an extra fifteen seconds before it hits the final latch. Then, all 900 pounds of canopy come slamming down and splattering your guts all over the place.
- Steve Slater: Nice to meet you, Harry. Caught the end of your act. Really enjoyed it.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, well, tha-, uh, thanks.
- Maggie Spontini: Yeah, you're really great with all that illusion stuff. You're good!
- Jamie Spontini: [to Maggie] Could never top your disappearing act.
- [Maggie has withdrawn her petition for child custody]
- Jamie Spontini: [to Steve] Looks like you're out of a job, butt-head.
- Admiral Al Calavicci: My sentiments exactly, butt-head!