Raviv Ullman: Phil Diffy

Quotes 

• Phil Diffy : Well, the Giggle is only designed for one.

  Keely Teslow : We can sit close.

  Phil Diffy : Okay.

  [Scoots over so Keely can sit beside him very close] 

  Keely Teslow : [her cheek right next to his.]  You okay?

  Phil Diffy : [smiles, happy at Keely's closeness.]  Uh-huh.

• Keely Teslow : [Keely is standing against a large picture of some mountains]  This is Keely Teslow reporting live from the bitterly cold Antarctica. I'm standing not that far...

  [the camera starts to drop] 

  Keely Teslow : ...from the South Pole...

  [the shot changes to Phil, who is falling asleep against the camera. Keely crouches down towards the ground] 

  Keely Teslow : Phil! Phil!

  Phil Diffy : [Phil wakes up and pulls the camera back up]  Keely look, no one actually does extra curricular activities this early. The Sunrise Club doesn't even meet for another hour.

  Keely Teslow : I need to put together a flashy demo reel. I'm going to be applying for journalism school in just 162 weeks!

  Phil Diffy : Keely I thought you said you wanted to be a pop star, all right. I mean that's why you spend all your babysitting money on pop star pants.

  Keely Teslow : Please, I don't want a 'show-off' career. I want to be reporting hard-hitting stories...and those pants are gonna look great on me anytime, anywhere. Hey, let's do a no-scope piece into a lead story; gimme some blizzard!

  [Phil turns on the wind machine] 

  Keely Teslow : I said BLIZZARD!!

  [Phil turns the wind machine to full blast. Keely staggers slightly] 

  Keely Teslow : WHERE'S MY SNOW?!

  [Phil gets out a bucket of fake snow and starts to throw it merrily into the wind machine] 

  Keely Teslow : THIS IS KEELY TESLOW, REPORTING LIVE FROM THE FROSTY TUNDRA OF ANTARCTICA, IN THE HEART OF A MIGHTY SNOW STORM!

  [Phil thorws a rubber fish at Keely, and continues to throw the snow. Keely catches the fish.] 

  Keely Teslow : WHICH IS STARTING TO HAVE AN EFFECT ON ANTARCTIC JUMPING FISH!

  [The picture of the mountians is ripped off the wall] 

  Keely Teslow : ARGH! THE SOUTH POLE HAS LITERALLY BEEN BLOWN OFF THE MAP!!

  [Keely screams then falls over] 

  Phil Diffy : [Seeing that Keely has fallen over, Phil stops throwing the snow]  Now that's a hard hitting story!

• Phil Diffy : [to Keely]  This is great! You're a reporter, wearing your popstar pants!