The Office (TV Series)
The Injury (2006)
Phyllis Smith: Phyllis Lapin
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.
Phyllis : Oh, we wouldn't do that. We love Stevie Wonder.
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[Michael is still on the phone asking for someone to pick him up for work]
Michael Scott : Pam, could you come get me?
Pam Beesly : Uh, I have to stay here and answer the phone.
Michael Scott : Ok, could someone come and get me please, Ryan?
Phyllis : Michael, you should stay home and rest.
Michael Scott : There's no toilet paper here. Could Ryan... tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Could you tell him that?
Kevin Malone : Can you hop?
Michael Scott : I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a "protruberance".
[long beat]
Michael Scott : Nobody wants to come and pick me up?
[everyone stays silent as Dwight enters]
Dwight Schrute : What is going on? What is going on?
Pam Beesly : Michael, is, um, sick and he wants one of us to rescue him.
Michael Scott : I'm not sick! I'm burned!
Dwight Schrute : I'm coming Michael!
Jim Halpert : Oh...
Dwight Schrute : [shouting at the speakerphone] I'm gonna save you!
Michael Scott : Don't... is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight.
[Dwight's already halfway out of the office]
Dwight Schrute : Hold on Michael! I am coming! Wait there!
Michael Scott : I DON'T WANT DWIGHT.
Pam Beesly : Michael, why don't you call your girlfriend?
Michael Scott : [dryly] I don't have a girlfriend.
Jim Halpert : But you said that you went out with her this weekend.
Michael Scott : [still dryly] It was all made up. Just someone come, ok? Anyone. Anyone but Dwight.
[all of a sudden, everyone hears a car crash coming from outside]
Jim Halpert : What was that...
Pam Beesly : What was that?
[Everyone rushes to Michael's window to see that Dwight has collided with the front gate with his car]
Jim Halpert : Oh!
Pam Beesly : Ohhhhhh!
Jim Halpert : He hit the pole! It's broken, right? He can't...
[Dwight stumbles out of the car in a stupor]
Pam Beesly : Oh, my gosh.
Jim Halpert : Oh, Dwight, Dwight.
[Dwight proceeds to puke all over his back windshield]
Jim Halpert : Ohhhhhh!
Jim Halpert , Pam Beesly : Oh my God!
Pam Beesly : Is he okay?
Jim Halpert : He's still driving...
[Dwight gets back in his car and drives away]
Jim Halpert : Dwight, you forgot your bumper!
Michael Scott : [still on speakerphone] Hello?
[beat]
Michael Scott : Please don't send Dwight.