Jack Klugman: Oscar Madison

Quotes 

• Chuk Mai Chin : [visiting Chinese wrestler Chuk Mai Chin and Miss Hong Kong stop by the apartment with two large paper bags]  We go to China tomorrow, so we came up tonight to be with good friends.

  Felix Unger : Congratulations on your victory. What did you bring?

  Chuk Mai Chin : Food. Food. Special food. Food the Chinese people rike.

  Felix Unger : Oh, food the Chinese people like. Oh, how nice. Let's see what you've got here. What did you bring us.

  Chuk Mai Chin : Ehhh, you rike, eh, rox?

  Oscar Madison : Rocks?

  Felix Unger : Rocks?

  Chuk Mai Chin : Rox.

  Felix Unger : What kind of rocks?

  Chuk Mai Chin : Rox, cleam and bagel.

  Miss Hong Kong : Brintzes. Cheese brintzes.

  Felix Unger : Cheese brintzes?

  Oscar Madison : [good-heartedly imitating the Chinese accent]  And river. Chop river. How come you brought this food?

  Chuk Mai Chin : I ruve Italian food.