Norm MacDonald: Norm Henderson

Quotes 

• Norm Henderson : [trying to persuade Taylor on Danny]  Oh, ah, hey, Taylor, listen, ah, let me tell you something: if I weren't straight, I'd like to get a piece of this.

  [thumbing rapidly at Danny] 

• Norm Henderson : [Danny does cartwheels after Taylor agrees to a date, Norm walks by as he does so]  Taylor said "Yes", huh?

  Danny Sanchez : Yes! I can't believe it! She's so far out of my league!

  Norm Henderson : Ah, listen, Danny, I'm getting tired of this talk; let me tell you something: Taylor is lucky to be going out with you!

  Danny Sanchez : What?

  [surprised] 

  Norm Henderson : I can't say that twice with a straight face, buddy.

• Norm Henderson : Let me tell you something, man: for once I'd like to do something really bad and not get punished for it!

• Norm Henderson : Laurie, you got to understand, if somebody asks if you had sex with their sister, you gotta say "No", you know? Especially if you've had sex with their sister.

  Laurie Freeman : Well, great! So, Jamie did it to me again.

  Norm Henderson : Yeah, well, listen Laurie, I'm really sorry.

  Laurie Freeman : I don't know, I just don't get it. What is this thing she has? Why do men fall for it? Is it the skimpy outfits and the way that she just throws herself at guys, or is there some deeper reason that I just don't understand?

  Norm Henderson : No, you understand perfectly; there's no deeper meaning.