Night Court (TV Series)

Heart of Stone (1988)

Harry Anderson: Judge Harry T. Stone

Quotes 

• Harry Stone : Why didn't she just come to me instead of setting me up like that?

  Roz Russell : Maybe she was so distraught she didn't realize she was hurting you in the process.

  Harry Stone : Yeah, maybe.

  Roz Russell : Or...

  Harry Stone : Or?

  Roz Russell : Your animal magnetism has been driving her insane for years. And in the presence of the beast, her libido exploded in a frezy of desire few of us will ever experience even once in our lifetimes.

  Harry Stone : You got a big raise coming.

• [Harry is mending fences between his ex-girlfriend and her estranged husband] 

  Harry Stone : Sheldon, you work hard, right?

  Sheldon : Yeah.

  Harry Stone : To make money, so she'll have things.

  Sheldon : Yeah.

  Harry Stone : So she'll have security, and she'll be proud of you.

  Sheldon : Yeah!

  Harry Stone : [to Leslie]  And you hate his hours.

  Leslie : Right!

  Harry Stone : Because he's important to you, and you wish you were important to him.

  Leslie : Yeah.

  Harry Stone : And you miss him, and you wish he didn't have to work so hard.

  Leslie : Yeah!

  Harry Stone : So what we have here is a husband who wants his wife to have everything, and a wife who wants him more than anything he can give her. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you two were in love.

• Christine : Where's Judge Stone?

  Leslie : He's, uh... out on the ledge.

  Christine : Oh, please. You expect me to believe a municipal court judge is cowering out on a ledge?

  Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : [gleefully]  That's what he's doing, all right!

  [out the window] 

  Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : Good evening, sir!

  Harry Stone : Hi there, Mac. I suppose you're wondering why I'm naked out here on the ledge.

  Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : Oh, no sir, no sir. I was wondering if I needed a flash.

  [he raises a camera and snaps a shot] 

  Mario : [who's been fixing Harry's suit of armor]  Judge, I got your codpiece ready... whoa, just in time!

  Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : [offering the codpiece]  Sir, you want to put on something more comfortable? Ha ha ha...

  Harry Stone : You don't really have to enjoy this so much.

  Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : Oh, yes I do, sir!

• Harry Stone : [quickly]  You see, after I found out she was married I tried to grab my clothes but they were thrown out the window, then I tried to grab my robe which was hanging on a scaffold, then my underwear got caught on a nail and then they blew away.

  Bull Shannon : I hate when that happens.

• Harry Stone : And, uh, Dan?

  [behind Harry, Dan stops, arrested in the act of ducking out of the courtroom] 

  Harry Stone : If you are entertaining any thoughts about sneaking out, Bull has prepared a demonstration which I think will enlighten you.

  [Roz places a bowling ball into Bull's hand. He slams his other hand down on it, crushing it to powder] 

  Dan Fielding : Your squish is my command.

• [trying to explain to Leslie's husband about the confusion] 

  Harry Stone : And, and then this guy came in...

  [turns to Dan] 

  Harry Stone : With a key that *Howdy Doody* did not give him!

  Dan Fielding : Boy, this has been grand... but, uh, we have a clothing-optional RV show we have to get to.

• Leslie : It was great to have somebody around that I could be nuts with. I could never do that with a lover.

  Harry Stone : No. Lovers come and go, but a good friend is forever.

  Leslie : Kiss me!

  Harry Stone : You bet!

  [Embrassing in a kiss ending on an a sigh] 

  Harry Stone : When did you have your tonsils out?

  [They smile at each other, but before they can kiss again Harry stops] 

  Harry Stone : Hold on a second I mean we haven't seen eachother in years. I don't know where you've been, what you've been doing?

  Leslie : Here's my resume.

  [Handing him a folded piece of paper from her pocket] 

  Harry Stone : Good enough for me.

  [He takes it, throwing it over his shoulder and kissing her again]