Night Court (TV Series)
All You Need Is Love (1984)
Harry Anderson: Judge Harold 'Harry' T. Stone
Quotes
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Judge Harry T. Stone : Any questions?
Dan Fielding : Just one. How? How did you get appointed to the bench?
Judge Harry T. Stone : You know, Dan, that's a funny story. It was the mayor's last day in office, and it was a Sunday. And my name was at the bottom of a list of a thousand candidates. So they start calling folk, starting at the top of the list, but, you see, it's Sunday so no-one's home. So they keep calling down the list, name by name; no-one answers. Finally they get down to the bottom of the list and... voila.
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : You mean you were appointed a judge because...
Judge Harry T. Stone : I was home.
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Judge Harry T. Stone : [to Lana] I own every record Mel Tormé ever made.
[Lana just stares at him]
Judge Harry T. Stone : I'm going to marry the girl that's impressed by that.
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Judge Harry T. Stone : Thanks a lot for being patient with me tonight; I am new here, you know.
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : Yeah, we noticed.
Judge Harry T. Stone : You know, my name was at the bottom of that list of prospective judges because I haven't had much experience really. But, every candidate does go through a thorough screening process, and whatever anybody thinks of that list, I *was* on it.
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Judge Harry T. Stone : [to courier] Sorry I don't tip. Besides, how do I know you're not the type to go out and spend it on a Barry Manilow album?
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Judge Harry T. Stone : This could go either way.
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : Yes!
Judge Harry T. Stone : Unless...
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : What?
Judge Harry T. Stone : No, I guess it's got to go either way, don't you think?
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[last lines]
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : About my job...?
Judge Harry T. Stone : Give me one more chance, huh.
Court Clerk Lana Wagner : It would be an honor to call you Harry!
Judge Harry T. Stone : Then it's fortunate I have that name.
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Dan Fielding : Your Honor, this is highly irregular.
Judge Harry T. Stone : Thanks.
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Judge Harry T. Stone : So... how the hell are you?