- House of Commons Speaker: Now, Mr. B'stard, you've heard the evidence of the manager of the Royal Excelcier Hotel, who saw you book in in the company of several underage girls.
- Alan B'Stard: [Slight chuckle] Yes. I am the Parlimentary Advisor to the Young Lady's Recreational Association, and so, naturally, I wanted to find out what young ladies like to do for fun.
- House of Commons Speaker: And what did they do for fun on the night of May the 14th?
- Alan B'Stard: [Chuckling to himself] They sang "Ging Gang Goolie".
- House of Commons Speaker: [Not amused] "Ging Gang Goolie"?
- Judge: Didn't you ever go camping? If you don't know, it goes
- [singing]
- Judge: Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha.
- Judge, Young Lady's Recreation Association Members: [singing] Ging gang goo Ging gang goo Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha...
- Judge: [Slamming down his gabel] I don't think so!
- House of Commons Speaker: Thank you, my Lord, the court is alive to the sound of music.
- House of Commons Speaker: Thank you, my lord, the court is now alive to the sound of music. But to continue on to the more somber melodies we are forced to sing down here, and particularly to Tracy Hobson, age 15. Pamela Green, age 15 and a half. And Ralph. A cross-bread bearded collie. Age unknown.
- Judge: [Banging his gavel] Silence in court!
- [Looks up from his papers and sees Piers trying unsuccessfully to sneak in]
- Judge: Mr. Fletcher-Dervish, I presume?
- Piers Fletcher-Dervish: [Nervously] I pray the court's indulgence, my lord. My train was hijacked by irate commuters and I was taken to Cop Foster's against my will. Have I missed much?
- Judge: Not as much as you're going to miss. I fine you one thousand guineas for contempt of court. Well, I think this is a suitable place to adjourn proceedings for this afternoon, as I have tickets for the lady's semi-finals at Wimbledon. Usher, the pictures please.
- [Takes a look at the pictures, gets a big smile on his face, and quickly puts the papers away]