Nia Vardalos: Nia Portokalos

Quotes 

• Maria Portokalos : Nick, hurry up with that food! The man's got a gun!

  [turns toward the customer, who is a police officer] 

  Maria Portokalos : I'm just pretending you're one of those loose cannon copss, like Burt Reynolds, may he rest in peace!

  Nia Portokalos : Ma, he's still alive.

  Maria Portokalos : Not really. Loni Anderson sucked the life right out of him!