- Corky Sherwood: [on Jim's attempts at balloon animals] Ah! A snake. Real original, Jim. That makes six snakes, three earthworms, and a dachshund with no legs.
- Miles Silverberg: My people don't do well with hay - that's why there are no Jewish cowboy stars. Roy Rogers, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood - all gentiles. It's the same with the women. Barbara Stanwyck - huge career in the saddle. I guarantee you'll never see Barbra Streisand in chaps with a whip in her hand.
- Murphy Brown: [reading gift CD titles to Avery] "Barry Manilow Live" - now *there's* a nightmare.
- Barry Manilow: [overhearing] Coulda been worse - you might've had to pay for 'em.