- Kermit the Frog: Thank you! And welcome, again, to The Muppet Show, where tonight, we are delighted to have the one and only Miss Raquel Welch...
- Miss Piggy: [clears her throat] Pity we can't book an important guest star on this show.
- Kermit the Frog: Uh, well, what are you saying, Piggy? Tonight we have an internationally acclaimed actress, singer, dancer and one of the sexiest ladies alive!
- Miss Piggy: You got that every night, Frog!
- Raquel Welch: [reading from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice] The quality of mercy is not strain'd. It droppeth as a gentle rain upon the place beneath...
- Scooter: Uh, changing your image, huh?
- Raquel Welch: Yes, well, I was toying with the idea.
- Scooter: Well, you do what you want, Miss Welch. On this show, you don't have to dress up in any of those scanty, revealing costumes.
- Raquel Welch: Oh! Thank you, Scooter.
- Scooter: Well, not unless you really want to.
- Raquel Welch: Well...
- Dr. Teeth, Gonzo, Floyd Pepper, Quongo, Green Frackle: [several Muppets appear in the door opening] Oh, please want to!
- Miss Piggy: [after Raquel's opening number] Uh... I thought she was going to change her image.
- Kermit the Frog: Well, she might be changing her image, but you wouldn't want her to change the rest of that.
- Miss Piggy: Oh! Raquel, Raquel, Raquel! The burdens of being an international sex goddess.
- Raquel Welch: Yes, well, I suppose...
- Miss Piggy: It must be nearly as tough for you.