- Miss Piggy: [Dom received a bouquet of roses intended for Miss Piggy, which he threw on the ground] Are those my roses?
- Dom DeLuise: Yes, they were your roses. Someone sent roses to a P-I-G.
- Miss Piggy: That amuses you?
- Dom DeLuise: Yes.
- [sings]
- Dom DeLuise: The days of swine and roses...
- Miss Piggy: [angry] Knock it off, chubbo!
- Dom DeLuise: Chubbo?
- Miss Piggy: Mm-hmm.
- Dom DeLuise: Look who's talking.
- Miss Piggy: Are you saying I am a little overweight?
- Dom DeLuise: Little? Did I say little? No.
- Miss Piggy: [seeing a basket of fruit on the table] Well, you're jealous, because I got all these flowers, and all you have is that little teensy basket of fruit.
- Dom DeLuise: Actually, the little teensy basket of fruit is more suitable to you.
- Miss Piggy: Ho! And why is that?
- Dom DeLuise: I'll tell you why. Because...
- [picks up an apple and jams it in Miss Piggy's mouth]
- Dom DeLuise: ... it looks more natural.
- [laughs]
- Dom DeLuise: [attempting to calm down Doglion with a broken ukele] Ain't she sweet... there's nothing left to eat!
- [feeds the ukelele to Mean Mama]