The Muppet Show (TV Series)

George Burns (1977)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Waldorf, The Swedish Chef, Whatnot

Quotes 

• [a telephone is the Veterinarians Hospital patient] 

  Rowlf : What's wrong with it?

  Miss Piggy : It's not working.

  Rowlf : Well, tell it to get a job so it can pay me.

  Janice : Maybe it's a PAY phone.

• Waldorf : How do they do it?

  Statler : How do *we watch* it?

  Waldorf : *Why* do we watch it?

  Statler : [to audience]  Why do *you* watch it?

• Fleet Scribbler : Say, is it true you're dropping a lot of stuff from the show this year?

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, no, no, not particularly.

  Fleet Scribbler : Aha. "Muppets Relying on Same Old Tired Junk."

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, wait, wait, wait. On the other hand, we have a lot of brand-new, innovative stuff.

  Fleet Scribbler : Oh, "Muppets Changing Format, Desperate to Sustain Show."

  Kermit the Frog : I never knew the press could be so depressing.

• Kermit the Frog : Say, how many of those cigars do you smoke?

  George Burns : About twenty a day. At my age, I have to hold on to something.

• Statler : [reacting to the Luncheon Counter Monster eating a machine]  Disgusting! Ever see eating like that?

  Waldorf : Sure.

  Statler : Where?

  Waldorf : Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws.

• Statler : Can you sing tenor?

  Waldorf : What?

  Statler : Can you sing tenor, as in ten or eleven miles away from here?

• Rowlf : Nurse Piggy, do you have the next line?

  Miss Piggy : [trying to control her laughter]  Y-yes, but I can't say it...

  Rowlf : How come?

  Miss Piggy : THE LINE'S BUSY!

• Statler : Well, there it is. Your basic Latin number.

  Waldorf : Actually, that's your basic Pig Latin number.