- Paul Williams: You know, when they asked me to do the show, I was delighted. I mean, this is a great show to do. I have a very special reason to be excited. You see, except for me, the entire cast is Muppets. Muppets are little, tiny things. For the first time in my life, no-one will make jokes about how short I am. For the first time in my life, I am the tallest person on the show.
- [Sweetums, Thog and one of the Mutations surround him]
- Paul Williams: For the first time in my life, I will cry in front of thirty million people.
- The Newsman: Muppet News Flash! Arnold Stockman, a retired shoe salesman, recently had a most unusual experience, and we at Muppet News Central feel it is a story that should be shared with everyone. Here in his own words is Mr. Stockman to tell you this most bizarre event.
- [a screen in the corner turns on, revealing Paul Williams as Arnold Stockman]
- Arnold Stockman: Well, it was about a week ago. I was sitting at home watching television. Must have been about 9:00. Suddenly, the phone rang. Well, I picked it up, but there wasn't anybody there. So I hung up and then I went back to watching the television. Darnedest thing.
- The Newsman: Well, now, whenever unusual events occur, you'll hear it first on Muppet News.