The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Avery Schreiber (1976)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Waldorf, The Muppet Newsman

Quotes 

• Waldorf : You gotta give them credit.

  Statler : Why's that?

  Waldorf : Well, they're gonna keep on doing it until they get it right.

• Miss Piggy : Aw, Kermit, my love, my life, I am sorry if Avery made you jealous.

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, Fozzie Bear, stand by!

  Scooter : Fozzie Bear, stand by!

  Miss Piggy : Well, you are jealous, aren't you?

  Scooter : Fozzie, stand by!

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, no, I'm not.

  Miss Piggy : But why?

  Scooter : Uh, Fozzie, stand by!

  Kermit the Frog : Well, Scooter told me it was all a trick.

  Miss Piggy : Scooter, stand by! Hiii-ya!

  [karate-chops Scooter and kicks him away] 

• Kermit the Frog : Well, that's it for tonight. We'd like to thank our very special guest star Mr. Avery Schreiber.

  Avery Schreiber : Thank you, Kermit, thank you. Listen, it was a ball. I hope I didn't get you upset. Boy, Miss Piggy has a bad temper, doesn't she, huh?

  Kermit the Frog : Aw, listen, don't worry, I can handle Miss Piggy. You know, she's just putty in my hands. I say "Jump", she says "How high?" I crack the whip, she jumps through the hoop.

  Miss Piggy : [suddenly appears]  You open your mouth, my fist goes south. Hiii-ya!

  [karate-chops Kermit] 

  Avery Schreiber : Gee, I love to see a man in control, Kermit.

  Kermit the Frog : [weakly]  We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show.

  [Piggy karate-chops Kermit again]