Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)
The Money Programme (1972)
Michael Palin: 'It's' Man, Messenger, Church Policeman, Native, Hargreaves, Argument customer
Photos
Quotes
-
Man : Look, this isn't an argument.
Other Man : Yes it is.
Man : No it isn't, it's just contradiction.
Other Man : No it isn't.
Man : It is.
Other Man : It is not.
Man : Look, you contradicted me.
Other Man : I did not.
Man : Oh you did.
Other Man : No, no, no.
Man : You did just then.
Other Man : Nonsense.
Man : Oh, this is futile.
Other Man : No it isn't.
Man : I came here for a good argument.
Other Man : No, you didn't. No, you came here for an argument.
Man : An argument isn't just contradiction.
Other Man : It can be.
-
Man : An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Other Man : No it isn't.
Man : Yes it is. It's not just contradiction.
Other Man : Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Man : But that's not just saying, "No it isn't."
Other Man : Yes it is.
Man : No it isn't. An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
Other Man : No it isn't.
Man : Yes it is.
Other Man : Not at all.
Man : Now look...
Other Man : [bell rings] Good morning.
Man : What?
Other Man : That's it. Good morning.
Man : It was just getting interesting.
Other Man : Sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man : That was never five minutes.
-
Man : I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
Other Man : I just paid.
Man : No you didn't.
Other Man : I did! I did! I did!
Man : No you didn't.
Other Man : Now I don't want to argue about that!
Man : I'm sorry, you haven't paid.
Other Man : Ah ha! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Got you.
Man : No you haven't.
Other Man : Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Man : Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
Other Man : I've had enough of this.
Man : No you haven't.
Other Man : Oh shut up!
-
Inspector Fox : I'm charging you under Section 21 of the Strange Sketch Act.
Man : What?
Inspector Fox : You are hereby charged where you did willfully take part in a strange sketch. That is a skit, spoof, or humorous vignette of an unconventional nature, with intent to cause grievous mental confusion to the Great British public.
-
Man : I'd like to have an argument, please.
Argument Secretary : Certainly, sir, have you been here before?
Man : No. This will be my first time.
Argument Secretary : I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man : Well, what is the cost?
Argument Secretary : Well, it's £1 for a five minute argument, but only £8 for a course of ten.
Man : Well, I think it would be best if I started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
Argument Secretary : Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment. Mr. Bakley's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ah yes, try Mr. Barnard, room 12.
