The Monkees (TV Series)
Monkees in Texas (1967)
Stuart Nisbet: Bartender
Quotes
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Mike : [Mike walks up to the bartender at the saloon] Eh, hello, can you tell me where the assayer's office is?
Bartender : [suddenly the bartender has a green cap on his head and a sign on the counter that says 'Assayer'] This is it.
Mike : Oh, well, what I'd like is to have that analyzed. Could you tell me what that is?
Bartender : [hands him a jar of dirt from the Nesmith farm] I don't have to analyze it, I can tell you what it is right now.
Mike : Well, what?
Bartender : It's guk! And it's disgusting, go and get it outta here.