Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Three Pies (2004)
John Turturro: Ambrose Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Adrian Monk : This is my assistant, Sharona.
Ambrose Monk : Hello, we spoke on the phone.
Adrian Monk : Oh, so you can dial a telephone! I was worried. I thought you might be paralyzed, or something.
Ambrose Monk : I wasn't paralyzed.
Adrian Monk : I was being sarcastic.
Ambrose Monk : You were being sardonic. Sarcasm is a contemptuous ironic statement. You were being mockingly derisive. That's sardonic.
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Adrian Monk : He was at the park all last night.
Sharona Fleming : Maybe to bury something.
Ambrose Monk : Yes, he was parked by the southern entrance.
Sharona Fleming : How do you know that?
Ambrose Monk : It's obvious. Why don't you tell her, Adrian?
Adrian Monk : Um...
Ambrose Monk : The yellow acorns on his truck, which can only mean he was parked under a spotted oak tree...
Sharona Fleming : Wow.
Ambrose Monk : Which are found...
Adrian Monk : Um...
Ambrose Monk : Near water...
Sharona Fleming : Wow.
Ambrose Monk : Which means, he parked by the river, at the southern entrance.
Sharona Fleming : Wow!
Adrian Monk : Please stop staying "wow."
Ambrose Monk : This detective stuff is easy.
Sharona Fleming : Looks like you got a new partner.
Adrian Monk : Yeah, for any crime committed within thirty feet of this property.
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Sharona Fleming : Ambrose... come with us!
Ambrose Monk : Me? No, no, no.
Sharona Fleming : You just gonna hide in this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk : That's my plan... yes.
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[Discussing their estranged father]
Ambrose Monk : Why aren't you out there looking for him?
Adrian Monk : Because I'm afraid I might find him.
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Adrian Monk : So, Ambrose, what am I...? Why am I here?
Ambrose Monk : Believe it or not, I need your help. It's about my next door neighbor. His name is Pat van Ranken.
Sharona Fleming : What about him?
Ambrose Monk : I'm eighty-five to ninety percent sure that he killed his wife.
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Sharona Fleming : How did you remember that?
Ambrose Monk : It's a gift, and a curse.
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Ambrose Monk : [about Adrian] You should have seen him. Going into stores and buying things all by himself when he was 15. Driving a car when he was 23. Going out on dates - going out on dates with women, at twenty-six years of age!
Sharona Fleming : He's a regular Evel Knievel.
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Sharona Fleming : Ambrose, you know what? Adrian's scared, too. All the time. But he doesn't let it stop him. Okay, now you tell me: what does he have that you don't have?
Ambrose Monk : He has you.
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[as Adrian is leaving]
Ambrose Monk : I love you.
Adrian Monk : [stops] Don't... say that. Don't you say that. I'm no expert, but I know that people who love each other, who care about each other, don't go *seven years* without calling. Especially when I needed you most! After Trudy.
Ambrose Monk : ...You think I didn't call because I didn't care?
Adrian Monk : Then why? What happened to you?
Ambrose Monk : Do you know why Trudy was in that parking garage on the day she died?
Adrian Monk : What are you saying?
Ambrose Monk : It was because of me.
Adrian Monk : You?
Ambrose Monk : She was doing me a favor. I needed cough medicine. I called her. I asked her to go...
Adrian Monk : Oh, my God...
Ambrose Monk : To the drugstore for me.
Adrian Monk : Don't do this.
Ambrose Monk : She wouldn't have been in that garage if it wasn't for me!
Adrian Monk : Oh, Ambrose...
Ambrose Monk : It was me, Adrian! It was me! It was my fault!
Adrian Monk : No, no.
Ambrose Monk : [sobbing] Adrian, it was my fault!
Adrian Monk : No, it was *not* your fault.
[Ambrose continues to cry, and Adrian hugs him]
Ambrose Monk : I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
Adrian Monk : It was not your fault.
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[Ambrose leads Adrian and Sharona into another room of the house]
Sharona Fleming : What is this?
Adrian Monk : Every newspaper since 1972.
[Sharona groans]
Ambrose Monk : I am as God made me.
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Sharona Fleming : Ambrose, come with us.
Ambrose Monk : Oh, no, I can't.
Sharona Fleming : You're just gonna hide inside this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk : That's my plan, yes.