Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and the Red Herring (2005)

Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger

Photos 

Quotes 

• [trying to exit the "Miracle of Birth" exhibit] 

  Natalie Teeger : We have to go out through the pelvis.

  Adrian Monk : I think this is going to be a caesarian.

  [he ducks out through the emergency exit] 

• [Monk is looking around Natalie's kitchen] 

  Adrian Monk : Is there money in the house?

  Natalie Teeger : No.

  Adrian Monk : What about the coffee can, isn't that where you hide your money?

  Natalie Teeger : ...How did you know that?

  Adrian Monk : There's coffee grounds on the counter, indicating it's been opened recently. But you don't have a coffee maker.

  Julie Teeger : [whispering]  Wow, he's like Velma from Scooby-Doo!

• [watching a somber parrot] 

  Natalie Teeger : What happened to him?

  Adrian Monk : His wife died.

  Pet Store Owner : That's right. We had a female in there with him, but she died about a year ago. How did you know that?

  Natalie Teeger : Why not put another female in there with him?

  Adrian Monk : Won't work. He'll never feel the same about anyone else.

  Pet Store Owner : That's right. How did you know that? We put another female in there with him, but I'm afraid ol' Sergeant Pepper is going to grow old and die alone in this little cage.

  [pause] 

  Natalie Teeger : [to Pet Store Employee, referring to the parrot's original, now-deceased partner]  What was her name?

  Adrian Monk : [answering automatically]  Trudy.

• Natalie Teeger : [dragging Monk through a Museum exhibit on "The Miracle of Birth"]  Pretend you're in a fun house.

  Adrian Monk : Funhouse? What's fun about fallopian tubes?

• Adrian Monk : You recently started dating again.

  Natalie Teeger : How did you know that?

  Adrian Monk : [holds up a pill container]  Birth control pills. I found these in your purse.

  [Natalie's young daughter is staring at them] 

  Adrian Monk : [realizing]  I'm sorry...

  Natalie Teeger : [horrified]  I can't believe you just did that! Do you have, like, zero social skills?

  Julie Teeger : Mom, it's okay. I'm not a baby.

  Adrian Monk : Oh! My mistake. These aren't birth control pills. They're... Tic-Tacs.

  [to Julie] 

  Adrian Monk : You know, to make your breath smell better. But don't eat them, they're... adult Tic-Tacs. You know, special.

  [He gives Natalie an obvious wink. She snatches the pills from him] 

• Natalie Teeger : You're a man?

  Adrian Monk : [pause]  Yes...

  Natalie Teeger : Then you can tell lies. That's what they do.

• Human Corpuscle : Hello, I'm a white corpuscle. I'm an important part of your body's defense system. I travel through your bloodstream and I fight bacteria and diseases. Would you like to know more about me?

  Natalie Teeger : No. I'd like to know less about you.

• [at the California Academy of Sciences] 

  Adrian Monk : This man didn't freeze to death. He was murdered.

  Natalie Teeger : What?

  Adrian Monk : Look, there's a puncture mark on the side of his head.

  Natalie Teeger : It was over 20,000 years ago!

  Adrian Monk : Well, there's no statute of limitations on murder.

  [He tilts his head, doing his Zen thing] 

  Adrian Monk : I think I know what happened...

  Natalie Teeger : Detective Monk, why don't we solve *my* case first, all right? Then we can come back here and figure out who killed Ogg, okay?