Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man (2002)
Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher
Quotes
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Adrian Monk : What do we have?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : We got a dead girl. She lives on the, uh, 21st floor. Either she slipped or she jumped or she had some help.
Adrian Monk : [looking at Gwen Zaleski's body] It was murder.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, it's a possibility.
Adrian Monk : No, no, it was definitely murder.
Lt. Randall Disher : [sighs] And how could you know that, Monk? You just got here.
Adrian Monk : Her toenails. She was painting them, but she didn't finish that one. She was obviously interrupted.
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, isn't that the style now?
Sharona Fleming : [scoffs] Like you know.
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[in the late Gwen Zaleski's apartment]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [on his cell phone] That's what I thought. Thanks, Paul.
[hangs up]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Boys and girls, listen up. That was the medical examiner. She was strangled before she went over the edge. This is now a homicide investigation. Which means, do not touch anything, don't lean on anything, and be careful where you walk.
[to Monk]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What do you think?
Adrian Monk : She lived alone?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, she lived alone, but check this out.
[opens the refrigerator]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Excuse me. She has beer in the fridge and... cigars in the humidor.
Adrian Monk : Boyfriend.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, and according to her neighbor, she had an ex-husband and a boyfriend who nobody ever saw.
Adrian Monk : Well, somebody was paying the bills. She was on unemployment.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Somebody was buying her a lot of gifts.
Adrian Monk : She hasn't opened any of them.
Lt. Randall Disher : Hmm, maybe she was planning to return them. I mean, look at this guy's taste.
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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [interrogating Arthur, Gwen Zaleski's ex-husband] Mr. Zaleski, how about I call you Arthur?
Arthur Zaleski : Well, you can call me whatever the hell you want.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Good. How long were you and Gwen married?
Arthur Zaleski : Four years.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : She walked out, and you still loved her.
Arthur Zaleski : Sure, I had feelings for her.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I bet you did. Then she picks up with the dinette furniture salesman. TV guy. That's humiliating. You were jealous. You became furious.
[Monk starts to try to wipe a smudge off the mirror]
Lt. Randall Disher : I'd feel the same way.
Arthur Zaleski : I don't like this, being here.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You're not supposed to like being here, Arthur. This is an interrogation room. It's not a sports bar.
[Monk turns to Sharona]
Adrian Monk : I need a wipe.
Sharona Fleming : Why?
Adrian Monk : Do you have a wipe?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So, why were you harassing your ex-wife? We've got the phone records, Artie. You were calling her twice a day. I don't call my wife twice a day.
Arthur Zaleski : I was worried about her.
Lt. Randall Disher : You call it "worried". The judge called it "stalking".
Arthur Zaleski : That was three years ago.
[Monk is using a moist towelette and making a squeaking noise as he tries to rub the smudge off the window. Stottlemeyer has to speak over the squeaking noise]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What happened, Arthur? You went over there to talk, right? You lost your temper trying to talk to her? Everybody has a temper.
Arthur Zaleski : What is that? What is that noise?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Excuse me. Come on.
[He leaves the room to talk to Monk]
Lt. Randall Disher : Okay, one more time from the top. So, how long were you and Gwen married?
Adrian Monk : How's it going in there?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It's going great, except he wants to know what the little squeaky noise behind the mirror is.
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Lt. Randall Disher : The Zaleski alibi checks out. He was in bed making a phone call at the exact time of death.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, it's not the ex-husband.
Lt. Randall Disher : No, sir. So, uh, where does that leave us?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It leaves us with McDowell.
Lt. Randall Disher : The boyfriend?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah.
Lt. Randall Disher : He checked out. He ran the whole race.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Okay, let's say that McDowell did pass the chip off to another runner.
Lt. Randall Disher : That was your idea, sir.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You're damn right it was.
Lt. Randall Disher : You're thinking Tonday.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, no. Their times don't match up exactly.
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, then who?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : All right. Here's my idea.
[turns over a whiteboard to show a series of equations]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Let's say there were six runners.
Lt. Randall Disher : Six?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, Tonday, McDowell, and these four guys: Harvester, Blanchard, Crowe and Davidson. They pass the chip back and forth among them. They were all running in the vicinity and...
Lt. Randall Disher : Like a conspiracy.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, no. I've worked the time out on this graph.
[takes it out]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Passing it back and forth, the time works out almost exactly. What do you think?
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, this is worth looking into, sir.
[Stottlemeyer promptly crumples the graph up and throws it away]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It's all-no, it's not, it's insane. There is absolutely no connection between those six men.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, you're right. It's-I was just playing devil's advocate with that. Uh-
[hits the play button on the tape of the marathon]
Sportscaster : There is something you don't see every day. A runner in this race with four legs.
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Lt. Randall Disher : Hang on a second. Stop the tape. What's that right there?
[Stottlemeyer pauses]
Lt. Randall Disher : Go, go back a little.
[Stottlemeyer rewinds the tape]
Lt. Randall Disher : Is that a dog?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah it's a poodle.
Lt. Randall Disher : Maybe he put the chip in the dog collar.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : That's a little poodle. Can a little poodle run 26 miles?
Lt. Randall Disher : Maybe he drugged it. I mean, if it's on drugs, yeah. I can call a vet.
[Stottlemeyer leans closer to the TV screen as Randy speaks]