Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Kid (2005)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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[Monk is babysitting a two-year old]
Theresa Crane : Now before I go, do you have any questions for me?
Adrian Monk : Yes, yes, I have a couple of questions. What does he eat?
Theresa Crane : He... eats food. He eats whatever you eat, only in smaller portions.
Adrian Monk : So he's like a person.
Theresa Crane : Exactly.
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[Monk is babysitting a two-year-old]
Natalie Teeger : Oh, my God, what is this? Why is he wearing a helmet?
Adrian Monk : To protect his head.
Natalie Teeger : It must be so uncomfortable.
Adrian Monk : Oh, he'll get used to it. I used to wear one when I was his age.
Natalie Teeger : Your parents made you wear a helmet?
Adrian Monk : No.
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911 Operator : Sir, what is the nature of your emergency?
Adrian Monk : It's everywhere! B.M. It's B.M., B.M., B.M.! It's B.M.!
911 Operator : Sir, you have to stop saying "B.M." now. Do you mean your child is soiling his diaper?
Adrian Monk : Yes! Yes, he's soiling his... his diaper.
911 Operator : You mean you've never changed a diaper before?
Adrian Monk : Hurry!
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[talking Monk through a diaper change]
911 Operator : Now on either side of the diaper, there should be two Velcro straps.
Adrian Monk : Yes, okay, I've got the straps.
911 Operator : Now rip 'em open.
[sound of Velcro ripping]
Adrian Monk : Oh! Oooohhh! Oh, my God! Oh, the humanity!
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Adrian Monk : I mean, he could do a lot worse than me for a father. What if he were adopted by... wolves?